Truly Sincere

And stop. No one SEES things anymore. Look at your clothing and look at how many seams there are and just how amazing it is and what it must be like to make it, look at the patterns, the textures, the colors, more colors than you even realize are there and of course, always stare at the imperfections and realize that it’s all beautiful: all of it. FEEL things. Run your hand across a piece of metal and realize that it’s just sleek. Feel warmth or cold and just think about how it’s on your skin…take the time and savor a moment because no matter how fast you want to go, you really have little control, because you may be able to wedge your way in, but it’s only because others are willing to let you budge them, and if they’re willing then, they’ll be willing later. I have come to realize that it’s not my place to say when I’ll have someone who likes me, just as they have no say when I like them. Thus, waiting is all I can do. I often see this girl. She’s maybe 5’3″, red hair down to her shoulders, greenish eyes, glasses. She always wears a black coat with a fur lining. I see her, always alone, I’ve never heard her voice. She lives in Parker Hall, I noticed a room with her picture on the door. What’s interesting is the picture is dead serious. Never a smile, I saw her smile once, because she is never focusing on anyone but always listening. She laughs when someone says something ironic, I stifle my laugh, don’t want to give away the fact that I know exactly what she heard and that I know she heard it. I think she is one of the most strikingly beautiful people. And when I speak of beauty I mean outwards beauty because we must face the fact that it does exist and we cannot fault beautiful people for being born the way they were or even augmenting themselves, because we have to understand that those who do augment themselves are only doing it because they want to be liked, and we all want to be liked, perhaps maybe we should fault ourselves for no initiative….joke. What’s funny is that I see hundreds of people everyday and I watch them and I think they’re beautiful. Marissa is possibly the most kind-hearted person ever, when she smiles you have to smile and when she looks at you with concern, there is a sparkle in her eyes that cannot help but convey sincerity….and she’s always proper. Stephanie Briggs is tough, she’s stubborn and she’s a huge dork and she deep down knows it but everyone loves her because she’s like the queen of cell block 6, the tough sister figure who always protects the new inmates. She’s a hothead, but that’s her nature and I think she’s beautiful because not many women would act like her. Beth has a pretty face, she looks like a pug if the wrinkles were ironed out and that’s what’s cute, because she always has this smile almost grafted to her face. Lindsey is naive and talks like a little girl when she’s excited. And her eyes are the most amazing gold color. And what’s funny is she and I are very honest with each other, but her naivety is what makes her honest. She doesn’t know how NOT to say things. Stephanie Bauman talks in a combination of airhead/sophisticated princess. Anyone who names their belly as a “poof” is cute in my book. Bridgette is a great person to talk to has a wonderful sense of humor and always is ready to invite me along. And she doesn’t have judging eyes. Sarah laughs with her entire body and everyone teases her about her big breasts. She’s the nicest, most down-to-earth and good person you’ll meet. Val is always friendly and dances in front of my door and her catch phrase, “Oh….sad.” is cute in and of itself. I think she’s very attractive because she’s pretty tough and yet keeps her “lady-like” appearance. She and Zak always beat the crap out of each other, a tough love relationship. Desiree loves to mess with people’s minds, she’s very slim and I think she is incredibly attractive as well, and is always ready to hold a conversation. Casey, my roommate, is possibly the most insane person in the world. Yes, he pees on cars, yes he runs around the halls with his boxers hiked WAY up, yes he sings like a girl, especially when he’s in the shower, but I love the guy cuz he’s a great person and genuine. And when you try and talk to him he drowns you out with his own thoughts, but I never get angry at him for doing it cuz I think it’s just so damn cool….because he’s always thinking. My little brother who hates when I talk about him is an amazing artist. He really is brilliant and his cartoons are excellent as well. I think it’s amazing what he can do in art and how quickly he learns, I see the wit of my oldest brother in him, he’s much faster on the fly than I. Jess is another incredible person on my long list of incredible people. She always is nice and whenever she talks she uses this British accent and various little catch phrases whenever she’s excited, and she has a great smile. And she tips huge. As for her sister Beks, I think Beks is cute as well, Beks has a great smile I think, a very brilliant one…and she’s got a great sarcastic wit which I’ve been at the pointed edge of before…;) I think, though she does not, that she’d be a great actress, because she’s got the one thing that actors/actresses really need, an imagination that’s vast. She’s a good writer too. And the anime fetish is cute too. And there’s Latricia who always talks with a voice that sounds like she’s irritated at me but she really isn’t…and she’s always nice and has a great sense of humor and a beautiful singing voice. And lastly, Stephanie K. Dale. She’s the first person to admit that she thinks highly of herself but she says she really loves me….why? I don’t know. But she does. She is so amazingly cute, showing off her boyfriend to everyone she meets and just being generally Stephanie. I don’t know how I can really describe just how amazingly great she makes me feel when I’m around her. Or any of these people, I feel priviliged to know them. To Truly KNOW people, to see their beauty, to know what the world LOOKS and FEELS and SOUNDS like is amazing, an honor, and above all, the one thing that we can always rely on to have and know, for the rest of life is chance. It brings me to tears sometimes thinking about just how amazing these people are…

I will do this again, about others: later. Good night all, thank you for letting me know you.