i just wanna cry!

It is now 11:44pm and I have had the worst case of insomnia since I have been back at school and I don’t sleep  much at all.  Thank goodness I have late classes, or I would be dying!

I got my Hip Hop Abs dvd’s on Sunday and I decided to start on Monday.  It gave me this calender thing that tells me which workouts I should do everyday to maximize my results. So far, so good.  The teacher is very enthusiastic! He doesn’t make it boring, he gives me motivation and reasons to keep pushing myself during the workout when I am tired.  It tells me some eating guidelines too. About what I should be eating and when I should eat (well, the best times to eat). Meaning, don’t eat before the workout and make sure you  don’t eat at less 3 hours before bed (so, if I go to bed at 11, I shouldn’t eat past 8). When you sleep, your body is still working. It doesn’t need much energy, but it still burns fat while you are sleeping. So, if you eat before you go to bed then you are burning that energy instead of stored energy. This also makes you wake up hungry so you will eat breakfast!  I only eat 1-2 times a day so their eating schedule isn’t really made for me. I would not be able to eat breakfast, lunch, dinner and have 2 snacks. They also recommend that people take a multi-vitamin, which is smart anyway. So, I am taking centrum. I’m drinking a lot of water and watching what I eat. This was a really bad week to start though, because AF has showed up for a much unwanted visit. So, I really want ice cream! I think I might see if the stores out here carry ben and jerrys frozen yogurt…mmmm…

Anyway…

I am really stressed about the bridal shower. I know, I know. I am not supposed to be worrying about that. But my mom and aunts want to go with the "traditional" way of doing it. Where the aunts throw one and the bridal party throw another. Well…I don’t want that. Josh’s mom and dad are divorced, so asking his side of the family to plan a shower for me is completely out of the question. Josh’s dad’s side really dislikes josh’s mom for whatever reason, so asking them to help plan a shower for me, who they see maybe once a year, probably isn’t right. I made up the list of people that needed to be invited today and it came out to a hefty 74!! I know! I know what you are thinking "Cut it down a bit". Well, ladies, that is cut down. I am going to call josh’s mom again tomorrow and ask her if there is anyway to cut it down again, but even if we could it won’t be much. Josh’s side of the family is large. he has 7 aunts…I have 3. I told my sister to just call the Holiday Inn and have it there! They would probably give us a discount seeing as my sister and I both work there. I have been there for 4 years!!! We only want a brunch, which is fine with me! I just want it to be fun. I don’t want it to be fancy and uptight. But, I was told to send invites to people who live out of town, so that eliminates like 6. But i know that a lot won’t come. But again, Josh has a lot of great aunts that are alive, and so do I. We both have all our grandmothers. I also have a bunch of friends I want there. So, I don’t want it to be cut down a lot. It really can’t. I can’t invite half of my friends and then have the other have wonder where their invites are and talk to the half that did get invites. All the friends that I am inviting are friends, so they will talk and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Not to mention that I want all of them there! So, the bottom line is, I don’t want anyone to be hurt if they don’t get an invite. I want everyone to be happy and not have hurt feelings. I am even inviting Josh’s brothers fiance! I mean, I don’t like her or his brother!  My sister is great! She has everything under control! She knows games that she wants to do and everything, so i am not worried about that at all. I just want everyone to be happy.

It’s the 7 month mark to the wedding and I am already to have a nervous breakdown. I feel like I am not going to be able to afford everything and get everything done and hit every detail. I just want the day to be nice and stress free. I know that won’t happen, but I just want to be able to enjoy the best day of my life and visit with my family. Not worry if there is enough food or seats.

Any advice is welcomed!! Please sign, so I can note you back!

Well now that it is 12:20 I am going to try and get some sleep!