its been awhile..

Soo..i havent written in awhile…my bad.

Lets see..whats been going on… Not a whole lot..honestly. Work sucks..dan is an asshole..work sucks..i have no money..did i mention i hate my job? You have no idea how badly i want to quit. If i had another job, i would do it in a heartbeat. This is how i know i absolutely have to be doing something i love for the rest of my life..or i will be miserable. Im sick of getting up at 5am every day..to make shit money..and deal with stupid people. Sometimes i am just in awe of the stupid people that come through that restaurant//stay in the hotel. Lets see..here are a couple good stories of the past week or so….yesterday: We get a lot of foreign tours that come through the hotel, and they usually get vouchers for the restaurant..im pretty used to it. Its easy if we know they are coming..i can just set up one designated area for them..cause they will go wherever they want..they don’t speak english most of the time. anyway…we had a chinese tour yesterday and there was this one creeeeeppy man. He went up to another table that was in the restaurant that had three young boys with their parents. He was probably about 2 feet from their table..just…staring. Didnt say a word..just..stared. Only at the little boys mind you..the parents are just…watching him..like…wtf dude…he finally walked away, and rachel apologized to the family..and told them if it happened again we’d have him removed. Like..seriously, what are you supposed to say to that?? Of all the tours we get in there, the chinese tours are the ones i hate the most. They just have a total lack of knowledge about how things work here…which is understandable sometimes..but if i were going to a foreign country like that, i would think youd want to have some knowledge about how things work. They are kind of disrespectful sometimes..whether its intentional or not i dont know. They follow us around, like..to areas that are supposed to just be for employees..im like…can i help you?? sit down.. they don’t wait to be seated, they just go wherever they hell they want. When they want something, they just wave at any person they see who is working there..doesn’t matter if they are supposed to be the ones taking care of them. One time a guy snapped at rachel..like..snapped his fingers to get her to come over thats rude…she just turned the other way haha.. these things dont sound horrible, but when youve got 35 people all doing the same things at the same time..it gets annoying after awhile.

what else….oh..my favorite is when people DONT CALL AHEAD. now…JUST because we are a restaurant in a hotel…DOESNT mean we arent a real restaurant. I dont understand what makes people think its ok, to come in with a party of 25 people with out calling ahead!? I would never do that anwhere..not even like…frikin applebees, or fridays. Its common courtesy to call ahead..unless you want crappy service. Its nice to have a heads up, so we can set up. We had a group of 25 people walk in like, last week. I was so mad..that is my pet peeve at work. How hard is it to pick up the phone and call. ESPECIALLY when people do it that are staying IN the hotel.

My boss…..yhgjirsea!!! ughhhhh! he put out a new schedule today for next week. he has me working ONE.DAY…….are you serious? hes got new girls with 4-5 shifts a piece. Ummmm..no..you are not giving MY shifts to someone whos been there for like 2-3 weeks. And on top of that..these girls have noooo idea what theyre doing…seriously..no idea. The one girl, shes like 17-18…wow….she is just dumb…youd know it if you heard her say two words..just ditzy. And the worst part of this is, i am fighting for shifts at a job that i hate..because i need the money.

so..like i said..this is how i know that if i ever had to choose happieness over money, like..picking a job, i would choose happieness. Ive always said that i would pick a job that i love doing over one that makes a ton of money..but this just proves it. Id kill myself if i had to work a job that i hate this much for the rest of my life. Sometimes i think i just need to quit..regardless if i have another job or not..because im just so unhappy this summer, and my job is a huge part of the reasons why. I could take out a student loan or something..i am going to have to take out another one soon anyway..because i don’t make enough money as it is. I worked a little over 40 hours last week..for 250$.. thats feels ridiculous.

Besides making no money..and dealing with stupid people..i am so tired all the time, from getting up at 5am everyday to go to work. All i want to do when i come home everyday is sleep. I am wasting so much time sleeping. Im not practicing nearrlly enough right now..i have no motivation when i get like this. Im trying..but i dont know what my problem is. Every time i am home, i have no motivation to practice..between that and being exhausted everyday just wanting to sleep…..yeah..not much practicing going on here. I know i should just suck it up and make myself practice, but i have a hard time..because if i don’t want to play..like im not in the mood, i will have a shitty practice session, and end up wanting to throw my clarinet anyway. When im at school, i WANT to practice so much more..i dont understand why there is such a difference in me between here and school. I just feel so stuck…with everything…i dont know what to do…