frustrated…

Could i just have time to practice?…thats all i want….seriously. Im getting really frustrated with the two whole non music classes i have this semester, a math class, and western cultures. I don’t have time to do well in these classes, because my music stuff comes first. I practiced for an hour today……….an HOUR……thats it..i have my recital in a little less than two months. I told myself that once the two month mark hit before my recital, that i would practice all the time..and just fix every little thing that hangs me up in every piece im playing. The two month mark was last thursday….and i practiced for an hour today. really not happy about that. I physically can’t find the time to get in as much practice time as i need to feel comfortable…all i need is like 2-3 hours a day. I am jealous of all the people who are just performance majors, and not education AND performance. No wonder i can’t be effing amazing…i have class for 435830 hours a day, then have to find time to practice, THEN find time to do homework..god help me when i have a test in one of my BS classes or have to teach one day in my ed. classes, cause my practice time gets the shaft when that happens, i HATE it. I could spend my weekends in a practice room..but i dont because i need atleast one day..sometimes two to renew my sanity before i start the next week. Its an endless cycle sometimes i swear. Im going to audition for our concerto competition here at the end of this semester..and i found a piece that i really like..that could be really good if i work hard on it. I think im going to go for it…but im scared, that i wont have the time to prepare it well by the time i need it to be good. with school and my recital….idk..it makes me nervous.

one thing that is good, is that ive been making time to go to the gym pretty regularly..tues thurs and one day on the weekend. im happy about that..cause i usually don’t stick to it because of school. I figure, i am allowed to take an hour..every other day to spend on myself…ridiculous right?

ahhh….i feel a little better now having bitched about everything:) sometimes i just have to spit it out..it helps.

well..im going to bed…the rest of this week is going to be slightly hectic and i need sleep to get through it…concert wed night..a project due thurs. and teaching in my one class on friday…yipee…………one more thing…i envy those people who can function on like…4 hours of sleep every night. I am so not one of those people..wish i was a lot though, 3 more hours in the day would make life easier sometimes. ok..that is all..good night