home being a slacker

So i came home this weekend with plans of working tonight cause im pretty poor…but, my boss called me off at about noon, cause they were over-staffed tonight. I was like..oh…ok. I need the money, its the only reason i came home:~/ I <3 being in freddy land now. Living off campus is so much better, im just a lot happier there this year.

I’ve decided this week that i should just quit clarinet…..not really….but..ugh.. apparently i have a huge problem with my tongue, im not using it right. im “anchor tonguing”, which is not good. Youre supposed to use the tip of your tongue to hit the reed..and i don’t, i hit it a little farther back. I feel like its going to be really hard to fix:( Also i move my tongue in my mouth a lot when im playing..specifically when i go from like…a real high note to a low one..or vice versa, and its definitely affecting the way things sound..also going to be hard to fix. I just feel like, wow…im in my third year here at school and just NOW realizing that i have these huge problems. The only thing i can do is just start trying to fix them…..i see a lot of frustration in my near future….ugh..

on a brighter note…

My band director put me on this chamber piece for the concert..theres 2 clarinets, 2 oboes, 2 basoons, 2 french horns and a string bass. She does chamber music a lot, but shes never put me on a piece before cause she only will pick the best players. I like it for the most part..scott and i are the 2 clarinets and i think we sound purrrddy:~D Its fun playing with this little group, because if theres a problem…its like..not a big deal and it can be fixed quickly…cause everyone knows what theyre doing…and they all PRACTICE the parts. It was scary tho for awhile…it still is a little i guess. I get intimidated very easily..which is bad…but..i cant help it:~/ I always feel like people are going to judge me…or are watching everything i do. She put me on first for this piece too…which made it a little scarier even..i just don’t want everyone to think i suck when i mess up…which i do…a lot….i lose concentration a lot when im playing. Its weird to think that you could be thinking about something else while still playing..but i do it a lot….its a problem:~/ When i make mistakes during rehearsals…its not usually because i CANT play the part…its usually because i break concentration, which is more frustrating, cause how do u fix that?? –i guess this wasnt really a brighter note..its only brighter bc i get to play with scott…and we sound good together haha.

ok time to go eat chocolate or something..cause im craving it..okbyeee