happy new year…woo………

Sooo its new years eve, and where am i?…home, doin nothing. I have to be at work at 7am, so i dont really feel like getting tanked. I do however wish i was with scott..somewhere. The last few years i got used to being with my boyfriend on new years eve..this is the first time in awhile where i havent been able to do that. kinda makes me sad. Hes at a party in rochester..i just wish i could have seen him. It sucks not knowing when im going to see him next. Ive got a couple things on my mind anyway, so i just didnt feel like going out i guess. maybe im just feeling sorry for myself, but idk..one of those moods that i love SO much..setting in again. I just think about not being able to see him whenever i want, and it makes me sad. Especially when he leaves for the summer. Thats going to be hard for me. and ESPECIALLY if he ends up going to florida to go to school. I will probly lose my mind…not really..but..u kno. idk im trying not to think about it, i shouldnt worry about the future..just worry about the right now, but its hard. I wish it was easier for the both of us to come see the other. The one time ive gone to stay at his house, my dad didnt know about it, and mom was a nervous wreck cause she didnt tell him. Shes like..were not gonna be doing this again..right?..more like telling me tho. So i suppose i just wont tell either of them if/when i do go stay at his house next. I figured id atlest be honest with mom, so i didnt have to lie about being so far away. When he comes to see me, my parents would never let me have a boy stay in the house, so idk what to do. its like impossible. If he comes to see me at school, i mean atleast he can stay there without a problem, but theres always the issue of being able to have alone time with him. Its hard with a roommate, and i dont want to be that annoying roommate who always has her bf over all the time, hanging all over eachother. But when i do get to see him, i just wanna like..hold on and not let go for awhile. I dont really mind PDA-ing with other ppl around, it doesnt bother ME..i just worry about making other ppl uncomfortable. I just cant wait til we move into our house next year..ive missed privacy a lot. But if he goes away to school next year, it wont matter anyway..having my own room i mean when he would come to see me..cause..he wouldnt be coming..to see me… see..this is what happens. I start thinking//worrying about one thing, and that leads to another, and i eventually just work myself into a slight depressed mess. maybe i’ll just go to bed.. scott said hed call at midnight, so after that, im goin to bed. thats all for now i guess…