on Christianity.. and Tues. w/ Morrie

I just finished watching "tuesdays with Morrie."  Yes, watching,  Netflix offered the TV movie version and I couldn’t help myself.  and no.. i’ve never read the book.. i think i started to once and didn’t get through it.. i don’t know why.. maybe it was too "heavy" a read for me at that time in my life.  I think I need to pick it up again.

Many things in the movie struck me and moved me to my soul.  yes, my soul.  I believe that they used direct quotes from the real Morrie when making the movie, I would hope so.  Oh, back to being moved to the soul.  It is "if you were to die tomorrow, would you be happy with the person that you are?"  or something very close to that.  Not would you be happy with what you’ve accomplished in life, or would you be happy with what you achieved or how successful you are.  No none of the the things that we I worry about.  But I suppose the thing I should be worrying about more.  Am I happy with the person that I am?  Am I happy with the choices that I am making and the way that I act, and what I believe?

In some ways I am.  In other ways I’m not.  I want to be more sympathetic, less selfish, more caring, more giving.  I want to be less easily angered.  less grouchy.. I guess these things that many of us work on.. but why am I working on them alone. 

I am a Christian.  However, I don’t believe that I live the life that I should be for having these beliefs.  I should be studying the Bible… looking for the wisdom that is written within its pages.  I want to know information about the Bible.  Which apostle wrote which books.. where Jesus performed different miracles.. I want to study and know.  Why is it that being a Christian and where I’m going to spend eternity should be the most important thing in my life here, and I know more about the contents (organelles) of a cell than I do about the contents of the Bible.  Sure I know the Bible stories that were taught to me in Sunday school, but why don’t I really know the Bible.

The sad part is that although I really should go out and find a church to attend, it keeps getting pushed to the back of the schedule.  It’s in the back of my mind but doesn’t really come to the forefront very often.. ok now everyone. I need you to help to hold me accountable.. I need to go to church.. I am going to go.. in two weeks from tomorrow.. July 7th (?)

Please don’t let me forget that I have decided to do this..

and thank you for making it through that rambling.. it is nearly midnight, I am exhausted, and, obviously my mind was whirling with the "big" questions of life after that amazing movie..

night everyone!