June 9, 2007

something more.

I feel like I am at a standstill. I have been killing myself trying to get a job HERE. Why? Well, because this is comfortable. My family is here. Dave’s family is a mere 2 hours-ish away. I have two children. It’s just plain easier to have a support network around, ie. family/friends, with two small children. And did I mention, I’m/we’re comfortable here?

Well, I’ve had enough. We HAVE to do something! I can’t stand it anymore. I HAVE to get out of here. Unfortunately, we just signed a STUPID 1 year lease. I guess that may be a good thing though. Give us time to get everything together/plan/budget to get us OUT OF HERE next summer. Unless something BIG happens beforehand, then I guess we could break the lease. Worse things have happened I suppose. But I am not one to go back on an agreement easily. It would have to be something BIG.

I guess things sometimes just come to a head. This is a good life that I have. Just not necessarily the one that I want. I want excitment, not that having a rubber fish stuck in your toilet drain while your one toddler is writing in ink on the walls while the other is screaming at the top of her lungs isn’t excitment… lol. But I want to SEE the world, I want to really SEE it. See all the people that so desperatly need our help. I want to help them. I want to go and see what this world is really all about. I want to show love and compassion to those suffering. I NEED to!

I know what some will say, I am making a difference by raising good, responsible children. And by teaching, I know I am. I just want more. I don’t feel completely satisfied. I need to do something more..

I just don’t know what to do.

A Woman in Progress

June 10, 2007

i feel like that every so often…the thing about wanting to SEEEEE more and HELP more…it feels awful to just be HERE while others are out there suffering and we are oblivious to it…i SO hear you on that one…

whit28

Its a feeling of being unsettled like there’s got to be more to life than this. I hear you and we felt the same way a few years back and thats why we went to NC. My husband loved it and it was okay for me. We got to see things as I was working for an airline and he was teaching. I guess somehow you have to live life diferently to respect what you have. I felt the SAME way living up here.

This area is choking me and holding me back all these other cities are prosporous and so forth. We just knew we were read y to leave. But as much fun as it was to be doing it you spent most of your time missing the area or family and planning holidays to return. Its not a bad thing at all and I’m glad we did it. In someways I’m glad I’m back here and others I remember what made me want to leave

in the first place. (mainly one in the same- family). Breaking the lease isn’t that bad people do it all the time. Do what you need to do and what feels right. Just remember all the cities have the same problems that somehow us hearing them here seem to bother us. ((HUGS))