He’s Home

The funeral home called us a couple days ago. They told us we could, "pick Liam up," not his remains, not his ashes… him. The funeral home has been amazing. I cried, partially because I was afraid to accept that I would never hold my little boy again and partially because I was so grateful that they referred to him as a person and not as an item. I was terrified of dealing with them because I was afraid they’d be cold and medical about it, but of course I was alone when I got the call. Thankfully they seem to understand. We went together yesterday to pick him up. It was so hard, picking him up, but my arms still being empty. That’s the hardest thing to deal with, the ache of my empty arms. I don’t know how to deal with it, it’s so hard. We set up a temporary spot on our coffee table until we can get his special table set up. It has his urn, cremation certificate, and his hand/feet molds that the funeral home did for us. They came out so perfect. <3 I’ll post pictures in my next entry because my Ipod is acting up and I can’t send them to the computer. I do have a picture of the urn we’re going to buy. The one they gave us is just a plain white box. This is the one we’re getting, it’s a baby boy with a guardian angel watching over him. <3 It’s fitting and the angel is comforting. I miss my little boy so much, but it’s comforting to know he’s with the angels and he’s with my mom. As much as I wish he was here with us, knowing that he’s never known and never will know pain and sadness comforts me and helps make dealing with my own pain easier.

heavenly protection bronze urn

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