Quit Telling Me To “Get Fixed”

For the record, I would like to say I do appreciate my MIL letting us stay here. I know she could have easily said no and she is doing us a huge favor by letting us stay here AND offering to help us with the deposit on the place. That being said, we do not really get along. We are both far too stubborn and very different people. I love my MIL, but she drives me batshit crazy, hence the title of my entry. She has been pushing for a long time for one of us to "get fixed." It is her belief that we cannot afford the children we have and would be unable to support any more. Granted, she has a point. When we had Ville, we were nowhere near ready to support ourselves, much less a child, but we figured it out and made it happen. Back when we were trying to have a second child, we were quite stable (Although our relationship did fall apart for a while for several reasons.) and could have easily supported another child or two even. Once we determined that we wouldn’t be able to have another child on our own (Ha!) we agreed for Darryl to take the huge paycut so he could go back to school. I was content in my management position for the time being and planned to go back when he got settled in a better job. That was around the time my parents house burnt down. We moved in with them to help them and to work on school and whatnot. Of course we then got the surprise of a lifetime several months later when I got pregnant. We weren’t trying anymore, but we weren’t using protection because it wasn’t supposed to be able to happen. We started making plans to move out on our own and made an attempt to save up for what we needed. Of course this failed horribly since my brother and his girlfriend are both lazy fucks and we wound up having to pay half the house bills, plus our own, plus food which everyone proceeded to eat… This is why we’re where we are now. I should have put my foot down, but Darryl and I would both feel bad if we had food and ate in front of the lazy people. I feel bad for my dad now, since he’s going to be supporting all three of them on his own, but he’s going to have to learn to say no. Once we get back into our own place, we should be able to get our shit straightened out and finish school so we can both get better jobs. Then, in a few (or several more) years we’ll be able to afford another kid. I’d like to have three, Darryl’s on the fence about three, but he did agree to it if we can afford it. One day we will be able to afford a third child and I don’t want some surgery to hinder that decision. Even when we’re done having kids I don’t want to get major surgery. If he was a vasectomy, that’s on him. Do I want him to do it? Not really. I hate the thought of finality. I’d hate knowing that if we ever changed our minds he’d have to get it reversed and hope that it worked. It’s just one of the things that bothers me. Will I take precautions to not have anymore until we decide to have another and then after if we do decide that’s it? Yes, I’d gladly take that responsibility since it’s my choice and there’s nothing permanent involved. I was always very good at taking my pill when I was supposed to. I got pregnant last time because I went off the pill, the first cycle afterward, so I know I was doing something right. I don’t want an IUD, they make me nervous. It’s my body, why can’t she respect that and quit trying to control my birth control? Why does she even think its her business? I don’t want or need her to take care of my children. She’s grandma, and that’s all I want her to be. She only watches Ville on weekends because SHE asks for him, not the other way around. If she doesn’t want to keep the kids, that’s fine. Ever since she got her job, I’ve never asked her to babysit. Anyways, I finally got the rest of our stuff out of the house. It’s now sitting in the back of my car, well, whats not in the moving truck is in my car. I had ot finish after work today, along with my dad and brother. I didn’t want to waste time by picking up Darryl first, since he had to get ready for work anyway, and my brother’s lazy ass girlfriend couldn’t be bothered to come and help. I swear, those two get on my last nerve most of the time. How can somebody be so fucking lazy? And now my kid is driving me nuts. He’s got this bad habit of acting up when we’re here because MIL lets him get away with more stuff than we ever do. This is not going to fly while we’re here, he will respect our rules and I refuse to let her have her way with how she feels we should raise OUR child. That is my biggest issue with her and the main reason we don’t get along. Alright then, I’ve got one kid about to be either snuggling on me or laying on me and another kicking me in the ribs. I’m going to attempt to work on my GED prep. Wish me luck with that, this 6 year old is a talker and you’d better answer or he’ll keep repeating himself! Oye!

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