I’m Not Going To Last Two Months

For background as to what I’m talking about, read last night’s entry. She’s giving us two months. That’s it. In a way I’m glad, the sooner I get the fuck out of here the better, but I’m also kind of freaking out. I don’t know if we can save up enough in that short amount of time. Plus, how the fuck am I supposed to get the 3 most expensive things I need for the baby? The crib can wait. We have a bassinet and we cosleep, not a huge issue at the present moment. I HAVE to have the travel system because they won’t let me take him home without a car seat and I’m going to HAVE to have the breast pump as soon as possible after he’s born so I can stock up and whatnot. Even with these worries, I’m almost certain I won’t last the entire two months here. She is already driving me insane and we’ve only just spent the night. First, she wakes me up (Kind of, I was sort of up, but waiting for the alarm.) and informs me that it’s 7:45 and when am I going to get Ville out of bed? I jump up and look back at my Ipod. 6:45, the alarm goes off. So I had an early adrenaline rush for nothing. I’m pissed, but whatever. I get Ville up and she lays back down. She gets up when we’re about to leave and starts in on how he hasn’t had breakfast. I drop everything, frustrated. He doesn’t eat first thing in the morning, and don’t give me that bullshit that he can’t tell me when he’s hungry and when he’s not. He eats when you tell him to because you ALWAYS insist he eat. I don’t force my child to eat. When we’re home, he’s quite capable of telling me when he’s hungry if he wants me to start dinner early or if he wants a snack. He’s 6 and quite smart. When I was a kid, I used to eat whenever I was told to as well. In my house, you either ate when given food or didn’t eat and you’d better eat every last morsel. Now I have a combination of eating disorders, not putting my children through that. They eat when they’re hungry and they eat however much they want. The only time I enforce more if if I know they’re bullshitting me, which he NEVER does. So I’m being lectured the entire time, so when he’s done, I grab our stuff and bolt out the door. We get to the store and then to school without incident. I decide to lay down for an hour when I get back to the house, since I couldn’t sleep last night and I have and hour or so before the storage place opens up, then we still have to wait for my dad to get the place and get the truck, I should be able to get a couple hours of nap time in… I should know better. I really should. I come in, lay down, and two seconds later she bursts through the door telling Darryl to go somewhere with her (Not entirely sure where since she was speaking spanish.) even though he’s not even up yet. He tells her we’re finishing moving today so he can’t, so she starts in on something else. He tells her he’ll do whatever it is later so he can get some sleep. She leaves and I think we’re good so I can get some rest. I should know better. Not even 5 minutes later she’s back with tips about all kinds of shit. I’m done at this point. Darryl decides to fuck sleep and get up. I grab my computer because fuck it, nobody’s going to get any sleep and I just come here to rant because I can’t fucking take it. Its been 12 hours since we arrived in this house, and I’m going insane. Please let us be able to save up this money fast. Please please please. I can’t take much more of this and its only day one. And so it begins. Time to go pack the rest of our stuff… God let this day pass quickly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Rhonda Ford

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