Hilary

 I wish this wasn’t happening, but it is. I have a thing for Hilary. A mutual friend of ours tried to hook us up a few months ago, but it fizzled out. She started seeing some other dude, and I started seeing Megan. Both of those relationships are over now. Neither of us are seeing anyone. She seems to have some dudes that she’s into now and that might be into her. I’m one of those dudes, though.

She’s just so charming. Mesmerizing even. We went to a concert together last Friday. It wasn’t a date, but we had an awesome time. She’s going to another concert with me in a few months. I really dig her. We’re the only two single people in our group and we’re both about the same age. She’s 23. I’m 25. Perfect.

I just honestly don’t think she likes me in that way. I wish she did. I think it’s kinda obvious that I do. The way I talk to her probably gives it away. I wish I didn’t pay so much attention to her when I’m around her. I know it makes it awkward and obvious. But it’s naturally what I do.

Last weekend when she was over for my moving-in party, I realized that I had just been staring at her forever. That’s what it seemed like anyway. Anytime she opened her mouth, I was just so intent on her. The way she speaks, looks, and the way she carries herself are incredibly charming. 

I don’t even care that she has a kid anymore. I don’t care about her drug issues. I just want her cause she’s so fucking hot and so cool. I’m gonna probably invite her over if we have a little get together.

So, I don’t know. I shouldn’t be falling for this girl, but I am. I want to just start dating her. I don’t think it would ever happen though, so I should probably put it out of my head. Or maybe I should try to make it happen if that’s what I want to happen.