marry me

He asked me to marry him, day before yesterday, and i just looked at him in shock. I didnt believe it, and i wasnt sure if he was being serious or just curious. Was it a real proposal?  I sent him a text msg at working asking him that. We talked on the phone he said he meant what he said. That he’s been talking to his cousin a lot lately about me and our relationship. She told him, she could tell he was happy with me.  He’s been very lovie lately.

Tonight

i said: ask me again, of course its not quite that easy for me to say this, i say it into his shoulder and then when he says what u say i get nervous to repeat it and it takes me a min to gain enough courage to ask again.

he said

Do you wanna marry me?

This time i said: Yes i do

He joked that he could only get me a ring out of a bubble gum machine for 25cents. I said it doesnt matter i only want him.

Is it real?  Can i say i’m engaged?  Will he tell anyone?  Should i feel this happy and want to share it? 
whats in a ring? The ring doesnt make it real two ppl commiting to each other their hearts is whats real. Will others see it the same way it i’m not wearing a ring? I dont know if i’m allowed to share this moment…even after knowing he meant it i’m still not sure if its real.

I’ve never loved this deeply
never felt so at peace with life

He talks all the time about moving to PA, that i should buy a house there and we could move and start a family of our own.  That he could get some sort of visitation with his son and we could really live happy.  That seems like such an amazing dream i wouldnt even know where to start…movin toward it.  I would need a job in PA making enough money to pay for a morgage. To find an affordable place and get approved for a loan, with lil or no down payment. I dont have any sort of saving for a down payment.  How do i buy i house?  He seems to think you dont need any money down or anything like that just roll everything into the loan.  When i feel overwhelmed i tend to just put it off saying its too hard to figure out.  But that wont get us anywhere.. i want us to share a home, not be renting forever.

How do i make our dreams come true?