the things i cannot say

what i wanted to say

I care soo much. I dont know why i have a need to share this with you so much. To make you realize your losing something good. I dont fee like i can express myself enough, that u dont understand fully how much i miss and yearn and believe in us.

what i really wanted to say is, i’m going to be in love with you and stand beside you thru all of this. That no matter how it turns out, i’m going to love you and keep on doing so. Because when you find happiness within yourself and its reflected in another soul you hang onto it with all your might. I cant let you go when i know you love me and we are good together. 

And i know u dont need to hear it… so i whisper your name and want u to know but i cant get the words out. It will make you feel guilty when you do leave. She is finally coming around, working it out i’m loosing you a bit everyday. 

I’m not going to move on, i cant. Have you in my life as a friend and loving your son to death, talking and being around you i’ll love deeper and harder each day. I’d rather be in your life, your friend, then feel the pain of being cut out.

I cant handle you moving and leaving and loving. I’m worried bout the person i’m going to be If that happens, if i’m confronted with so much loneliness and lose. Will i be what you made me or be what i use to be?  And you know this to so you worried and feel stuck.

I love you and its not enough