floating
My how things can progress so quickly once you stop fighting it. I’m in love with M, no doubt about it now. Caught up, in over my head and loving every second of it, his smile is so damn beautiful.
Okay let me head back a few days……
Wednesday Nov 1st i broke up with derek, made it offically over with. After saying what needed to be said we started going thru our apartment..deciding who was gonna get what. He wasnt even upset we didnt fight about it. I just tried my best to make the message clear. We will live together here yes, but not for too much longer. I’m gonna put in a notice at the office, we are moving out..parting ways. I still dont think he fully understands that part. More then likely he will returned to his mothers, since he is jobless right now and that fact he cant face yet. My idea is I will get my own place, with cheaper rent then we pay here and ill be able to do it on my own. Only issue is having a car, but i’m willing to put my truck dreams on hold for my own place, and settle for a car that will get me place to place. I can do it, I’m a single women.
So, as a single women…now i get to be bad. M and I both called out of work on wed night and his sister drove him to come pick me up, drove back to his mothers (where he grew up) Meet his other family too that night, at different times. We didnt go anywhere….we talking and listening to tunes and kissing. Unable to stop kissing him, i never kissed anyone so much. And as i write this i’m missing his lips. It was like eight pm when got there….steammed up the car…. and brought me back home at 630am. I spent all damn night making out.. mmmm….omg he is such a good kisser.
Derek knew i was going out and even helped me decide what to wear, he also went out to see his friends, took the car. I didnt want to cheat, i wouldnt make that mistake again. But i also knew if i was to see M outside of work..i would. Its not fair to derek to continue leading him on..down a road i know i wont go..better to just tell the truth.
damn the truth tastes so good too
Problem now is… i see M at work i’m one of the bosses… hmm…tread carefully i must. We worked thrusday, he had friday off…i was working. I couldnt wait till saturday, we both have that day off.
So yesterday (sat)… i came home from work and talked to him awhile. Did i mention i already ran my cell over my mins and he did too. Then because i had a big paycheck i was ready to spent a little of myself, i went to the mall alone..and got crazy. I probably spent 450$ in two hours at the mall.. i’ve never done that before! I didnt look at prices i just tried on a bunch of different stuff…got what i liked. 3pants, VS undies and perfume, black bra, two cami tops and two shirts plus my sweater. Not bad really.. i love this damn sweater, i can cuddle up in it. Still cant pull off the lowrise jeans..but..oh well i got some tight tops. Derek calling wondering where i am with the car, so i come back home he takes off to his mothers and then whereever. I call my mom and sister telling about my spending spree, i talked to Taylor and Cori too for a bit. Took my time getting ready..trying on different stuff…. damn i looked good..if i can say so.. felt good too all dressed in new clothes. M was busy being the dj so waited he came and got me, stopped by his friend and then went to the movies..to dinner..althought i still cant seem to even pretend to be hungry. I love him and its too fast too crazy too strong to even bother to try and figure out why. I look in his eyes and i just melt…everything else is gone. Making out lead to more…i cant control myself.. i’m not able. I’m happy, everyday, smiles too big to fake across my face. He dropped me back where i live this morning……but i’m not home… he’s home.
I’m floating