Job Jitters
I start my job on Thursday and I’m really excited and of course, nervous. First of all, I’m eager to find out what the heck I’ll be doing! Since it’s such a new business, everyone is running around trying to get everything ready for the opening day in December and maybe all the details haven’t been worked out yet. I was told the job would be easy, just greeting people and cleaning up after them. I was also told I’d be getting tips by one guy. Of course, he kind of acted like he didn’t know what was going on so I’m not sure if I will but I hope I do! Wouldn’t it be great if I could use my tips for gas or grocery money without having to dip into my paycheck? Not only would that help me get my own apartment but it would help me gain access to all my animation resources so I could start working on art again soon. Every time I watch Family Guy, I’m inspired to animate again. As frustrating as it was, I really do miss it and I really feel like I can do some great things if given enough time to practice.
I think about the orientation and the uniforms I’ll be given. I think about my coworkers. What are they going to be like? Are they going to be young or old? In some ways, I think it would be cool if they were older people because I’ve always gotten along with people older than me. Then again, if there was a cute young girl that worked with me, well, I wouldn’t hate that!
The first day is only going to be four hours but the day after is going to be a full eight hour day and they’ll even serve lunch on that day. This makes me a bit nervous because everyone is going to be having their lunch there and what if it’s like this cafeteria setting and everyone starts grouping together? What am I going to do? I certainly don’t want to sit by myself like a loser but I don’t know how to squeeze into a clique. I feel it would be awkward if I just went up to a bunch of strangers and was like, "Heeey, can I sit with you guys?" Seems kind of lame.
It’s pretty sad that I’m almost twenty-four and I have little to no social skills.
Maybe I’ll be lucky and the person that I sit next to/the person that sits next to me/the person that I’m seated with will be cool enough to strike up a conversation and that’ll be the person I can sit with.
It doesn’t help that I’m a fatty. Every time I gain a lot of weight, my already limited confidence takes a dramatic fall to the floor. If I don’t look good, I don’t feel good and I end up drawing myself inward. I become quiet and come off as being really shy and/or boring. If only I would have taken this summer to really get into shape. Maybe I’d have more confidence so that on Thursday I could make friends with everyone and not be that emo guy sitting by himself in the corner.
Of course, I’m just being silly. Hopefully everything will be fantastic! This is the first time in a long time that I’ve felt positive and hopeful about something so I’m going to try not to let myself ruin it with all of my fears and inadequacies.
I’m getting everything prepared tomorrow and then leaving bright and early at 5:00am to get there on time! Whooo, it’s going to be a long drive to and from the place but it will be so worth it. I just know it will!