Bad Romance: The Follow-up

I got enough of a response from my last entry that I feel I should write my own response. 

A lot of people thought I was being cynical in both my "Bad Romance" entries.  A lot of people thought I was love bashing and I was even called "bitter, preachy and judgmental" by one noter.  

I’d just like to clarify that I was not bashing love.  The first "Bad Romance" was me saying that it is okay to be single.  People get absolutely freaked out at the idea of being without someone and it shouldn’t be like that.  Yes, being in a relationship is wonderful.  It feels good to be with someone, to be close to another person, to be intimate.  It’s comforting, safe.  I’ll never deny that and I’ll never say that no one wants that.  If you’re with someone, no matter the reasoning, that’s fine.  I’m not hatin’ on you or encouraging you to break up.  But it’s also fine to be by yourself.  That’s all I was saying.  

And in my latest entry, I was just trying to examine love from a logical standpoint.  So many people get caught up in the foreplay and fluff that they forget that love takes work.  I don’t know if love should be super easy or if love should be super hard but I do know that it does take some effort.  Once again, I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be in love and shouldn’t be in relationships.  Love is a beautiful thing.  It’s the best thing there is and I hope that everyone can find love one day.  I’m just trying to get people to find a better, truer, purer kind of love.  Does that make sense?  I’ve just seen so many of my former friends go from one meaningless relationship to another without thinking about what they were doing and I just don’t want others to go through that.  

I wasn’t intentionally being pessimistic, just realistic.

As I mentioned, I could very much be wrong about my ideas of love (as many of you have pointed out) and part of that could be my age and another part could be my inexperience.  I think we all have our own idea of true love and I think we all find it at different points in our lives.  And my ideas might not mesh with yours and that’s okay.  I respect everyone’s opinions on the matter but I just don’t want people to think that I was being overtly negative.  And I don’t want people to think that I’m poo-pooing their current relationships because I’m not.  I wish you the best of luck.  

As far as the above noter’s terse and mean-spirited labeling of me, I’d like to say that I don’t think I was being preachy.  I have a certain writing style and maybe sometimes it’s rough around the edges or rather sarcastic but I wouldn’t necessarily classify it as preachy and if it is, I apologize.  It’s never been my intention to shove my ideas down anyone else’s throat.  Who am I to tell you what to believe?  I don’t have that right and I hope I never made anyone feel that way.  But bitter?  I sure am bitter!  I won’t deny it.  Long time readers will recall how full of love I used to be.  I was a romantic at one point, believe it or not.  Throughout the years, things changed drastically and maybe I’m still holding on to some of that hurt but that just gives my writing a personal touch.  I still think the things I said could be applied by anyone, bitter or not.  And judgmental?  Well, who isn’t?  Moot point.  

Of course, I’d love it if everyone agreed with me but that’s obviously not always going to happen and this is such a case and that’s okay.  It’s always been my goal to at least get people thinking, to open people’s minds so if you did or did not agree with the things I said in my last few entries, I hope I at least got you to thinking about why you agree or disagree with me.  If I can make you see things from a new perspective, if I can get you to think and maybe open up your head a little bit, then I’ve done what I set out to do.

Just to reiterate, really all I’m trying to say is that love is a beautiful thing as long as you use your head and heart simultaneously.  Also, if you aren’t in a relationship, it’s okay!  Take the time to improve upon yourself so that when you are in a relationship, it will be more fulfilling because you will know who you are and what you want.  Does that clear things up?  If anything, I was trying to be positive.

Or have I just become such a curmudgeon that I don’t realize when I’m being bitter?  

I have a little assignment for you, if you choose to accept it.  Respond to my "Bad Romance" entries with what you agreed or disagreed about what I wrote.  Or if you don’t want to include me at all, just write about what love means to you.  How do you define love and what do you believe it takes to be in a healthy, successful relationship?  As much as I try to open others’ eyes, I always try to keep an open mind myself.  I’d love to read what you have to say and maybe my perspectives might change.  If you do this, obviously let me know so that I can read it and we can have a discussion.

Let’s talk about love.