Full Time Troubles

I really hate to harp on the job situation but it’s driving me crazy.  I’ve put in applications all over the place.  When I first started looking, I assumed it would be a breeze to get a job.  Despite the economy, I saw job listings all over the place.  Surely, someone would hire me.  Unfortunately, not so much.  I guess the clerical thing isn’t going to work out (despite my experience, I still don’t meet many company qualifications) so I have no other choice but to go back to retail hell, a realm in which I vowed never to return.  But, I have no other experience.  Despite five years of college, I have no qualifications other than scanning objects, sticking them in a bag and exchanging money.  It really makes me feel pathetic. 

Ugh, I just really hate working with people.  For the majority, they are rude, dumb and impatient.  My patience for them reached next to zero by the time I had made my last transaction before walking out the mall doors for the last time.  And I don’t think it’s any big secret that the past three years at school has soured my already poor view of people so I can only imagine how little it will take for me to snap after delving back into the Stupitorium.  But, really, what choice do I have? Not much of a choice at all.

I know I shouldn’t take it personally when I don’t hear back from an employer but I really do.  It’s almost like someone not calling you back for a second date.  You put yourself out there, put your best face forward and get rejection after rejection.  I know that a lot of the time it might not even have anything to do with me at all.  There are so many circumstances that will dictate who will and won’t be hired.  Still, it’s no fun.  No one likes being rejected.

My mom is determined for me to get the worst job possible.  She keeps pushing me to take this customer service/call center job and I absolutely refuse to.  I’d rather go groveling back to JCPenney before going there.  The turnover rate is ridiculous and everyone that I know that’s worked there hates it.  Sometimes, I honestly think she wants me to be as miserable as she is.  I know she doesn’t do it intentionally.  I think it’s more of an unconscious thing.  Since she’s had to work a series of crappy jobs in her life, I think she’s trying to push that on me as well.  She’s never been supportive of the jobs I’ve wanted to take.  Her main problem is all the jobs I want to take are, in her opinion, “too far away.”  Well, of course they are!  That’s one of the main reasons why I want to take them.  She doesn’t understand that I can’t just live here for another year or more until I save up enough to move out.  I can’t possibly stay here that long.  I’ll literally go crazy.  She is adamant that I stay here in this city but there just aren’t any decent jobs that will pay well enough to eventually get me out of here.  I want to get out on my own, do my own thing, be independent, be a grown up at last.

And as if not being accepted into any position I’ve applied for and my mom’s determination for me to be fifty years old and still staying at home, the lump has popped up in my throat again and so I have to go back to the doctor for that.  Most likely, I’m going to have to have it surgically removed.  It’s basically annoying because no one knows what it is but the general consensus is that it needs to be taken out and at this point I am up for it because I’m tired of looking at it and tired of it coming and going and tired of trying to convince myself that it’s not that noticeable.  It doesn’t come at a good time because I fear I’ll get a job offer right before I have to have surgery or right before my doctor’s appointment.  My luck I won’t hear from any employers until I can’t be available.  All this time I’ve spent lying around the house twiddling my thumbs and hoping a job falls into my lap and the one time I’ll actually be busy doing something else, such as recuperating from potentially scarring and devastating surgery, someone will decide they’d like to hire me.  It’ll happen.  That’s my luck.  It’s just so aggravating.  I just want to be employed.  I am at a dead end at the moment and I’m restless.  I feel like a job will jolt me awake, kick-start my life and facilitate some sort of positive change in my life.  I’m sure once my attention is directed toward doing my duties at my job well and not being a complete dork, it’ll take my mind off of food and the other silly things that I worry about.

As I have incessantly repeated, I’m just ready to get started, ready to get my independent life into gear.  I suppose I’ve just been too picky.  Maybe I should just take whatever comes along and make the best of it.  As much as I don’t want to job hop, maybe I’m just going to have to do something until something better comes along so I can pursue that.  I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m truly tired of sitting around the house.  I really do want to be employed, to start earning money and to just take my focus off of everything.

I’m articulate, smart, learn fast, have a degree and yet no one wants me.  Profession imitating life.  
Visit my other blog:
Everyday Entropy