On Writing IV

I’m finding myself at a loss for words…yet again.  With the exception of the last few days, I sit in front of my screen and I open up my word document with all of these topics I want to discuss and I am so overwhelmed because I don’t know where to start.  If I’m not passionate about a subject, I can’t discuss it and articulate what I want to say in the manner in which I want to present to others.  This is where I get locked up and bogged down because while I don’t feel good about writing on a certain subject, other topics continue to flood my mind and they won’t leave until I have written it out.  So, here I am, writing down ideas and not expounded upon them.  The ideas pile up and I start to feel swamped with subjects and I get mentally constipated. I guess my only option is to simply rough it out.  Push through and write about something even if I’m not feeling it.

I kind of have a hierarchy of importance when it comes to the things I want to talk about.  There’s the every day observations that kind of just come to me that aren’t necessarily important.  And then it progresses to poetry to personal reflections about myself to the way I see the world to short stories.  And the unimportant stuff I usually write about, even if it isn’t the spectacularly sweeping masterpiece I had hoped it would be.  The important stuff I refuse to write half-heartedly.  I think there’s some stuff in my head too important to mishandle.  Stuff so important that if I don’t express it in the proper manner, the meaning might be lost or misunderstood.  Although I don’t think my ideas are the most amazing and my delivery the most heart melding, I still think it all deserves the best I can give to it. 

I think this works out perfectly.  In keeping with my resolution to write daily, I can go through my list of topics and get crackin’!  If I’m not feeling particularly in the mood to write, I can at least pick a topic that I feel is least important and write about it and post it and at least get it out of my head and out of my word document.  Did you know that I have NINETEEN pages of stuff I want to talk about?  I mean, it’s not all like one sentence ideas.  A lot of it is unfinished entries, unfinished poetry and the beginnings of stories but that’s still a massive load!  And I really need to start releasing some of this.  I like to think this word document is a physical representation of my head.  It is cluttered and filled with some important stuff and some not so important stuff and mostly stuff that just needs to be let go.

Speaking of writing, my nonfiction class was yesterday.  I was pretty excited to see that the blonde girl from my last writing class was in this one as well.  I can’t explain it but I really like her.  She’s just so real and sassy and it’s refreshing.  It’s a little crowded, which I don’t care for too much, but I suppose I’ll have to get used to that, won’t I?  As the people poured in, my eye was immediately called to this gorgeous girl who sat across the room from me.  Ah, she was stunning but then once we had to introduce ourselves, I changed my mind.  She acted like a prissy diva, like a ghetto Paris Hilton.  Her vibe wasn’t jiving with mine.  Such a shame too because I could have been interested.  But then again who knows because I thought the blonde girl was super annoying the first time I had class with her but now I think she’s pretty great!  So, we’ll just have to see…

My professor seems like a nice guy.  He’s actually another published author, which I think is pretty freaking sweet.  He even has a movie adaptation of one of his books in the work.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt is said to be involved so I think that’s pretty awesome and pretty exciting for him.  When he first walked in, I thought he was a SCAD student.  He is short and skinny and looks like he’d be the popular lady catcher of the class.  He wore a black button up shirt, tight jeans, and chucks to class, which I thought was cool ‘cause I almost wore the same outfit!  So, the man’s got good taste, I know that much.  But yeah, I was caught off guard when he sat at the professor’s desk.  He seems really young, like in his late 20s at most, which kind of makes me depressed.  I’m almost halfway through my 20s and I have nothing to show for it.  This guy has written three books and he’s a professor.  Okay, I’ll just crawl into a hole now, thanks.  The only thing that worries me about him and the class is that he is going to be a really harsh grader.  He gave us several pages of common mistakes that students make when writing papers and he says for every one of those mistakes we make, he takes a letter grade off!  Misspell or misuse a word?  Automatic B.  Do it again?  C!  Again?  Well, you know where it goes from there.

So, I’m going to have to proofread like a paranoid crack addict.  I’ll be looking over my shoulder for comma splices and improper grammar. 

I also have a feeling I’ll miss something and get a really bad grade for something dumb.

But we’ll see.  Like I said, I am scared but at the same time, this is how I learn and this is how I become a better writer and that’s what I want.  I’m just thinking of it as a kick butt boot camp for writers.

And now for the (in my opinion) good stuff…

I talked to girls!

As I mentioned, there was a gorgeous girl in my class.  There were also a lot of other pretty ladies as well.  There were even two other girls from Alabama there!  That was cool.  But, back to the girls.  I had a lot of them talking to me!  The girl that sat next to me talked to me for a while.  Earlier in the class, the professor asked everyone if they were all writing majors and I was the only one who wasn’t.  The girl asked me why I was taking the class and I told her I was just interesting in writing and she thought that was cool.  After class a different girl asked me the same thing and then one of the other girls from Alabama and I talked about Alabama for a bit and it was just cool that they all came up and talked to me and stuff and I thought it was also cool that I didn’t trip up my words or drop a dookie in my pants.  I actually talked to these girls and I wasn’t a huge dork.  What an accomplishment!  I just hope that they like my writing and that they’ll think I’m cooler for it. 

I’m nervous yet excited to see what the future of this class holds for me!

P.S.- Click here for a link to a list of my professor’s books on Amazon.  Check them out if you are interested.