Oh So Incredibly Alone

It will get easier.  I just don’t know when.  Only time.

My heart keeps saying, "come back come back come back."
My head keeps saying, "Go. Go. Go. Go."

I want to throw my phone away. Every text message I get and every email that comes in I check to see… maybe… it’s him. It never is. 

Has he really finally let me go?  Does this prove that he never loved me?  Am I able to handle that truth?  When I do finally hear from him and he just wants to take Lily for a visit, how will I ever be able to handle that?  When do I tell my parents?  How long will it take me to heal–this time. Will I heal? 

I want to go to bed and just not wake up. 

Her