stress

I have no financial aid for school, I tried to get a loan and was turned down, told that I need to get a more credit-worthy cosigner.  I have a credit score of about 700, 702 in fact the last time I checked.  Not good enough, wtf!?!?  So I have to come up with $800 for classes and another $200 for books by the 11th. 1 WEEK!!!  I could put some on my credit cards but that would max them up all over again.  Trying to avoid that.  So I’m going to swing by the financial aid office in the morning before work and fill out paperwork or see why I didn’t get financial aid like a Pell grant or something.

As if that’s not enough, I’ve broken out in hives for no explainable reason.  Pharmacist said it could it be the heat and it wouldn’t surprise me, they started appearing after my birthday and that was a whole day spent outside in the heat.  Or they could be stress.  So let’s see, panic attacks, hives, insomnia, fluctuating appetite, my life falling apart around my ears for the hundredth time and I’m struggling to keep up with the destruction and stem the blood leaking out of me every time I turn around.  My heart is breaking, my mind is breaking, everything is breaking.

I just want a vacation from my life.  I want to run away and disappear.  Right now I don’t think anyone would notice.