now

Things are a little better today.  I sat down and did the OCD planning that I needed in order to fully accept that I CAN in fact pay all my bills and still survive. LOL.  I also have a meeting with a State Farm agent on Wednesday morning to see about 1) getting an insurance bill for the same coverage I have now at or below $100 with them 2) re-financing my auto loan with them for a lower rate or something so that I might end up with a lower monthly payment.  We’ll see.  I’m open to discussing my options.  Let’s just say, Progressive sucks and move on from there.  Oh, and so does PNC.  Moving on!

Isaac and I got to spend some time together last night.  Our date went well after a few bumps in the beginning.  We all had fun.  Lynn ended up loving the movie.  Gnomeo and Juliet was really cute.  Apparently Ozzy plays the deer which I had NO IDEA.  I feel like I need to go and watch it again now.  I did notice that Dolly Parton played one of the gnomes which was soooo cute!  I think there are going to be a whole bunch of inside jokes thanks to that movie.

This morning I worked up the nerve to discuss that whole rambling "I haven’t said I love you because…." conversation that happened on Saturday.  It went well I think.  I don’t know how I expected it to go but I’m glad it at least went well.  Ok, truthishly I half expected it to end with him saying that he did love me but was afraid, and blah blah blah.  Nope, not at all what happened.  (Not verbatim but this is about how it went…) "I was watching you at the bazaar and just thinking how much fun you were having, how much fun we have when we are together.  I like that, I like dating.  I’m so used to rushing into something serious that I never really get to just enjoy dating.  I mean, we’re a little more than dating because I spend so much time over here but we’re just dating right, nothing super serious? (*insert me nodding, albeit a little warily*)  I mean, sure we talk about serious stuff and we’ve looked at engagement rings (*laugh*) but we’re not there, we’re not serious like that."  ME: Nope, just prepping for down the line when we get serious.  (*he laughs like he’s supposed to*)

So nope, my secret dream that he’s actually fallen for me is dashed, lol.  

He said he’d started thinking about everything because of the deployment coming up and all.  I’m still not really sure how that all works but eh.  I’ll just take what I can get.  I’ve fallen for him and there’s no going back.  If we don’t last, I’ll just pick myself up and dust myself off like I always do.  I’m not sure how I’ll get up again but I will because it’s what I do.  Thankfully at this point I haven’t fallen too far so it’s not a long fall if things go wrong.  I’m still not sure what’s going to happen in May when he leaves.  I don’t know if we’ll stay together or not.  I’d like to try.  It’s just going to depend on where things stand when it happens I guess. 

Xx