NoJoMo Day 4: sharp knife of a short life

"—if I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses, sink me in the river at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song, the sharp knife of a short life, I’ve had just enough time—" The Band Perry If I die young

I don’t know why but I thought of Nick today. I can’t believe it’s been almost 2 years since he died. I thought about because this time 2 years ago I was pledging the sorority. In less than a month it will be 2 years. 2 years since his brother found him dead on his kitchen floor from a drug overdose. I still think about him, still wonder what his life would have been. I think of the waste and just want to start crying all over again. I can’t say that I miss him because really I didn’t know him that well. He wasn’t a big part of my life, sort of on the fringes at first but becoming a bigger part when he started dating Angel.

Thinking of Nick makes me think of her. I haven’t spoken to her in a year. I don’t know what she’s doing or where she is.

Sad what time does to even the closest of friends.

I’ve drifted. Friends I thought I’d never lose and I haven’t spoken with them in months or years. I’m drifting again. This time away from my family but really that’s a sort of repulsive effect from too much family involvement. It’s cyclical the drifting from my family. While I was away at college I was on much better terms with them. Distance is definitely the key with my familiar relationships.

Isaac has been sick all week on top of working 12 hour days so I haven’t gotten to see him. I probably won’t get to see him until Sunday or later even than that. I won’t see him tonight because he’s working and probably still sick. Then tomorrow night I close and I plan to come straight home and go to bed. I’m driving down to visit the sorority Saturday morning so I’m trying to be up by 8 and out the door by 9 so I can get there around 11, the ceremony starts at noon and then of course the mixer is after that until 4 then probably doing some Family bonding time since we’ll all be in town. I might spend the night, I don’t know yet. I haven’t really decided and I think it’s going to depend on what ends up happening party-wise once I’m down there. I’ve never been a big partier but I’ll pack in case I do end up staying. But even if I don’t stay I probably wouldn’t get home again until 10pm or later. And yep, I’m going to be tempting the trip in my own car so cross your fingers I don’t have car problems. She’s been behaving the last 2 months but it would be just like her to decide to start acting up again on the 2-hour drive down there. At least it’s a trip I know forwards, backwards, and sideways. LOL

The one thing I really hope doesn’t happen this weekend? Running into Quinn. That would probably spoil my weekend pretty fast. I haven’t really seen him since we broke up (we skype-chatted a few times but that doesn’t really count, lets be honest). I honestly don’t know how I’d react to seeing him. When we skype-chatted I know seeing him did affect me a little. I was definitely still attracted to him.

No one knows I’m dating Isaac. I haven’t told them. Not that I’m hiding it, just I haven’t talked to any of them and when I have it hasn’t been idle chatter, it’s been short conversations purely for exchanging critical information. People in my life here-and-now, like my friends here in town, the ones like Kay who I talk to on a regular basis to chat, and the people I work with (most of them) know that we are dating. People at the store still don’t really know but that’s because we don’t want people there to worry that it will interfere with our work or something. Plus they are a lot of nosy busybodies and we don’t want them involved in our personal lives. LOL

Speaking of Kay! I have a Skype date with her tonight around 10 so if I’m going to get some Fable time in before then I need to get on it. LOL Yeah I’m a geek. I have the new Fable 3 but I want to finish Fable 2 before I start playing. Isaac also let me borrow his copies of Assassin’s Creed and Dante’s Inferno which I have yet to play. I also have a book of his that I’m reading but I haven’t been much in the mood to read lately so I’ve only been reading it here and there, like on my lunch breaks and stuff. It’s not a bad book. It’s "Peter and the Shadow Thieves" for those interested or who have read it, I’d love to know what you thought about it. It’s not bad so far.

Tomorrow’s plans are to fold and put away sheets (they go in a box under my bed which I’m not dragging out this late at night lol) and to pack for the weekend. I have to pick out badge attire plus a set of blocks and a passdown I need to take with me as well as an ‘item of <sorority> related sentimental importance’. I have NO idea what I will take yet. I have this old oil-lamp thing that we found while cleaning out the chapter room closet. It has our sorority letters engraved and glazed on it. Maybe I will take that. I mean, I have lots of stuff with ‘sentimental importance’ but they want something that has some kind of story attached to it and really, it’s the only one with any kind of story lol. There’s also the beaded gator I got on Bid day but that’s not really got a story either lol. I also need to remember to pack my badge and ribbons to wear. And dig out the gifts for the new Family-girls. Sooo much to do for a 1-day event lol.

Sadly, this might also be the trip I collect my little’s sorority stuff back from her if she has in fact de-affiliated. It breaks my heart, it really does. *sigh* This trip might end up being bittersweet. Because really if she has de-affiliated than I’m not going to go down for much more chapter stuff. I have no reason to. She’ll be gone, Aubrey and Gibby have graduated already and while they might go down for sorority events now and then too it’s just not going to be the same to go and not see my whole Family there.

Okay, melancholy mood must be lifted.

To Fable!!! *plays "Charge" on the trumpet*