funny

"how it ain’t so funny, funny girl"~~Funny Girl

I have been listening to that song over and over the last few days.  I have been in a strange mood.  

I saw Kale last night and it happened.  That notorious moment where I look at a guy and go "What do I see in him?"  I also thought Quinn and I were so perfectly meant for each other because I never had that moment with him, not even in our darkest times.  Honestly, it’s a combination of looks and personality that always drive me to ask this question.  I’m not saying I’m horribly vain or anything like that, more it’s that they don’t ‘look’ like a guy I would be interested in.  Usually I go for the obvious bad-boys (piercings, ink, long hair, BAMF clothes, that kind of thing, things that scream ‘attitude’) or at least something close to it.  Kale…oh jeez, none of that.  Short fluffy hair (yes, fluffy!), glasses, crooked teeth, tall and goofy and just….yeah.  I don’t care about the teeth so much, or even the hair.  But the guy looks like a nerd.  I don’t have a thing for nerds, don’t have anything against them either, just I don’t usually go for the obviously nerdy guy.  I usually go for the guys who look semi-dangerous.  For instance, Quinn is actually a closet nerd (physics/math major, loves video games and reading) but he looks like the kind of guy who would kick someones @ss (and has).

Kale…

Nope.  Not even close.

I still am attracted to the guy though.  And I know why.

He makes me laugh.  We have stuff in common.  And he’s seen me flipping out in all my OCD glory and still hasn’t run screaming in the other direction.  That’s pretty impressive.

But as predicted, I think the infatuation is starting to wear off.  I’ve reached the point where I start questioning why I am even hanging out with the guy, much less sleeping with him.  Never a good thing with me.  It means I’m likely to cut and run soon.  It’s all those survival instincts of mine kicking in saying "okay we had fun, now it’s time to leave" I think.  I don’t know yet.  For now I’ll just take some space I think and see how I feel in a day or two.

No relationships.  No strings.  No commitment.

That’s the way it’s got to be.

 

 

 

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