broken work in progress

I know I’m getting pretty bad about updating. Mostly I feel like I don’t have anything new to talk about. Each day seems like a repeat of the one before. I trudge along with my head down, just keeping my feet on the ground so I don’t stumble on the way. I work 5-6 days a week for a few hours. I go out 3-4 nights a week with friends, usually the weekends. I sometimes have one or two over to hang out. I think about Quinn at least once every day, probably if I were honest I would admit that it’s far more often than that but I think of him a little less often day by day. I try to take some comfort in that.

I also take comfort in knowing that I can be attracted to other guys without comparing them, so far. At the surface at least I don’t compare him to them just on looks or behaviors. I take comfort in being able to occupy my time constructively. I take comfort in having friends that understand how I feel, where I’m coming from, all those minor details that turn out to be so important.

I have met another guy that I find irresistible. Not that I’m doing anything about it but this makes guy #3 now that falls into this category. First was Christian, a guy who I don’t like but who I find physically irresistible. Then there is this guy at work Noble who is also irresistible but also a guy who doesn’t seem like a good guy, not a bad guy just not a good guy. Now there is Gabe who is extremely fascinating. I wish I could meet a guy that was good looking but that didn’t fall into the irresistible category. Irresistible means I want to touch, I want to kiss and it’s a physical and mental effort to keep myself from doing just that. Agh! Stupid hormones.

So I met Gabe at Grady’s the other night when I was hanging out with some friends. I was fascinated by his pierced lip which I’ve encountered before but on him it was completely fascinating. Then there are the gaged earrings, the tattoo, and the pierced tongue. It’s been a while since I’ve been attracted to a guy who was heavy into body modification. He also has amazing eyes. Well the way we met was I came over to the table to talk to one of my girls and blurted out "I really want to make out with someone right now." Next thing I know Gabe is offering himself up to be my make out buddy. But I was warned that he actually just lost the girl he loved in a car accident a month ago. I ended up driving him and one of the girls home and he lingered in hugging me when I dropped him off. At one point I seriously thought he would kiss me but it didn’t happen. I almost wanted it to happen but I wasn’t going to go there. Well a few days later he friend requested me on FB and then messaged me and we talked for several hours and then he gave me his number. Not sure what to make of that but I’m not going to make anything of it right now. I won’t go thinking something means something else or that it means anything at all.

But yeah that’s pretty much all that happens in my life which is why I don’t write as often anymore. I will try and fix that.