broken, day 15

I’m trapped in hell, it’s official. Every time I turn around it seems like something else is happening to either smack me down or trip me up.

I don’t remember mentioning this before but a few months ago I ran into Joey at the store. I was in on my day off doing paperwork and by rights he should never have known I was there but I came out to get a drink and he was in the other line. He tried to talk to me. He commented that he was surprised I wasn’t married yet. He is divorced now and out of the military. It was awkward because he stared at me for a long time and it was obvious that he was having one of those "What did I throw away when I let her go" moments. I didn’t much care then because I was perfectly happy with Quinn. I still don’t much care.

Joey showed up at the pharmacy tonight just as I was about to get off. I ended up hiding behind production a few extra minutes. I know he was staring at me again because I could feel it so I’d look out of the corner of my eyes or from beneath my bangs and find him watching me. It was one thing that he ran into me at the store because I was out of uniform and all so he couldn’t know for sure that I worked there. But this, he has to know I work there since I was behind the counter and had my lab coat on and all. Ugh. As if I don’t deal with enough bullcrap in my life, now I have an ex that has all the means to stalk me and possibly the inclination. Hopefully it won’t go that far. One of the pharmacy girls thought I would be okay with it since she thought it was Quinn who had shown up and she knows I still love him. But when I told her it was Joey she was of course understandably wigged out by it too. It’s definitely awkward on its own, combined with the staring, yeah, it bypasses uncomfortable and heads straight into creepy.

*sigh* Story of my life. The guy I love doesn’t want me anymore. The guy who creeps me out is showing up every time I turn around.