it’s time to remember…

My horoscope today: There’s really no point in holding anything back now because everyone already knows how you are feeling. Although you won’t reveal any shocking news today, the intensity of your stored up anger could catch others off guard. But their temporary discomfort with what you say is not your problem. Now that the Moon is back in your sign, it’s your job to reflect what’s happening as you perceive it. Just remember that there can be many ways to see the same situation, so don’t assume that you have all the answers.

Well yes, I am pissed. I am still hurting a lot but now some of it has been burned away with just how pissed I am. I’m pissed about the whole Quinn situation. I am pissed that he has lied to me, that he has misled me and really, he used me. I am pissed that he didn’t have the balls to just be honest with me from the beginning. I am pissed that I was the one who got hurt. I am pissed that some other girl is being given what I fought for. I am pissed that she is probably being lied to too. I’m pissed that he will make this whole situation look like he did nothing wrong. I am pissed that some jerk is trying to say I hit his car when it was the other way around. I am pissed that I have bills piling up no matter how hard I work my butt off to pay them all. I am pissed that so many things in my life are denied to me in spite of how hard I work. I am pissed that so many people are on my case to stop being negative and depressed and upset over this. I am pissed that so many of my so-called friends have bailed on me when I need them.

I feel like being vindictive. I feel like being vindicated, righteous. I’m biding my time. I am debating whether or not to send her a message saying to the effect of "When you’re ready to know the truth about what happened between me and Quinn, I’ll be waiting". I reiterate what I’ve said before that I doubt he’ll have told her what really happened. He’ll give her the edited version so he comes out looking like a good guy.

I’m biding my time for now. I can feel the claws growing, wanting to be used but I am waiting. I will wait for the opportune moment to spring and then I will sit back and watch the results. A friend of mine told me that I need to start remembering that I am a lioness and that God and nature gave me a set of claws and a bite for a reason. For survival, to hunt and kill and eat, for defense, to protect myself and the ones I care about, to warn people away so they think twice about screwing with me and mine.

This kitty is sharpening her claws now slowly, waiting in the bush for her prey to let down their guard, to grow lax and content and comfortable, unsuspecting of the predator in hiding, lurking, just counting out the minutes.