patience is a virtue

 I wrote an entry last night but set it to private.  It will most likely stay that way.  It was a very personal entry and I mostly wrote it to get some things off of my chest.  But there’s still so much I have to say.  I feel like I’m going to explode into a million pieces but at the same time of attained a sort of detached numbness finally.  It’s a relief to finally stop crying.  I feel like I’ve done nothing but cry for 3 days now.  I know if the numbness breaks I will be right back to crying.  The tears are swimming in my eyes still, I’m just not letting them fall.  I can’t right now.  Right now I have to hold it together.  Soon maybe I will let myself cry.  Soon maybe I won’t have to cry.  I don’t know yet.  I guess we’ll see.

 

 

 

Xx