sinking down

I didn’t think losing my job would be so tough on me.  But it seems to have been the catalyst for me slipping down into a mild depression.  It’s been all I can do lately to drag my lazy ass out of bed and take a shower.  Only that because I felt grimy because the A/C has been off all week and my room is small and doesn’t circulate air very well so my one little fan doesn’t really do much, even on high.  So I was sweaty and gross.  I managed to cook dinner for my brother and myself but really it’s the only thing I’ve eaten all day.  I fed my fish today though so no one give me grief.  I’m still taking care of the creatures who depend on me for sustenance.  It’s only myself I can’t seem to take care of.  I need to clean my room and put away laundry and dust and just…clean!  And I want to but I just can’t seem to make myself do anything.  I’ve been in bed reading pretty much straight the last few days.  I went out briefly yesterday but that was mainly to talk to the ASM at Spencer’s.  He said it was very likely I could get a job just for the weekend there.  It means I won’t be making nearly as much money as I’d like probably since it’s highly doubtful I’ll work more than a few hours a day.  I’d be perfectly ok with working 12 hours a day for 3 days if it meant all I had to do the other 4 were go to class.  It sucks that I have to fight traffic.  Waste of my gas and my money.  And it’s not like I can take the train there either. : (  That would be great if I could.  It’d be a lot cheaper than spending almost $100 a week in gas to drive up there.

B is coming up on Saturday.  That should be fun.  I went down and saw him last week.  It wasn’t much of a visit but it was nice.  And he still calls/texts me every day.  Whatever else is going on that tells me so much about how he feels.  He doesn’t have to, I don’t ask him to, he just does it. ^_^  It’s kind of cute.

Ah well.  I’ve lost my motivation again and I hear mum pulling up to the house.  I can hear her music coming all the way down, it’s so LOUD!  *shakes head*  Later all.