February 7, 2013

I still have the puppy. We’ve named her Coconut. I think it suits her.

Unfortunately, I don’t have much good news regarding her progress. She finished the round of antibiotics she was on. I took her back to the vet on Monday and saw a more experienced doctor. He was very concerned as soon as he opened the door and saw her tremors. They have not improved at all. She was able to walk a little and run very well when we found her about a month ago. Now she can’t walk or run at all. She can kind of stand up and drag herself, but that’s it. All of her limbs have tremors, but the back left is the worst. It is basically useless. The others are operating at about 30%. She also has a tremor in her neck area that causes her to constantly jerk her head. It’s horrible to watch. This second vet also assured me that she is in no pain from any of this. That makes me feel a little better. Still, she can’t play. She can’t even eat or drink without assistance because she can’t stand up or steady herself enough to do it on her own. I usually put her on the couch and tilt the food bowl so she can eat that way and it works well. She has a very good appetite.

So… the Monday vet visit was difficult. He said the issue is that her brain is swollen from some kind of trauma. It’s like that someone hit her/kicked her. The swollen brain is causing the tremors and it isn’t going to get better on its own. He suggested we try an anti-seizure medication. Actually, he said that this is the only treatment idea he can think of. He said if the medication is going to work then it should start working within 2-3 days. If it doesn’t work then he said we “have a decision to make”. It has been 2.5 days and there is no improvement. My heart is breaking.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t imagine that this is any way for her to live. Even though she isn’t in pain, she can’t be happy, can she? She tries to play with Maizey and it’s very cute. They bite and growl at each other and play well together, but obviously there is no running around. Her movements have been degenerating so quickly over the last month that I can only assume that will continue. I need to discuss that with the vet. If she is only going to continue to deteriorate then I can’t see that it would be humane to allow that to happen. Even if she won’t deteriorate any further, I still don’t know if it would be humane to allow her to live as she is.

Sigh.

I feel so terrible.

I was looking into vet teaching hospitals and there is one about 6 hours from here that has a neurology specialist program. I’m going to email them and see if they’ll agree to see her.

Hell, this is long.