Money … and YOU!

I came across a series of notes I left on a diary of a woman who was expressing her anxiety and frustration over some of life’s hurdles and requested some inspirational reading to get her through a difficult time, financially and otherwise.
 
I repeat the notes here (with additions) because it is a financially difficult time for many I read here.
 
What I wish to convey about money difficulties is, it’s not about the money!

 
 
Hi! I come to you by way of xxxx.

“Financial books that are inspiring?”

Well yes, there are some, but first let me tell you, I am a professional financial advisor and have been for many years. Over those many years, I have become highly educated in my profession and with the latest tools, systems, techniques, and sub-contractors and technical support, and other advisors at my disposal, have saved clients millions of dollars in Income Taxes and made them millions in investments. (Wait, this is not a commercial.)

I have a voracious interest in human behavior especially, human behavior around money, and I take a philosophical, spiritual approach with my clients, usually undetected, as I desire.

With all those tools, I discovered something really remarkable (to me) … it has a little bit to do with the tools and a LOT to do with the person.

After many years of experience, I’ve concluded, money is a very strange commodity! When I enter a new client relationship, I am entering a very intimate area.

People use money to play out and/or quell every emotion imaginable. We use it to intimidate, conquer, threaten, control, “love,” abuse, patch up our ego, wall up fear, and hate another, and/or ourselves. (I’m sure you’ll agree, not very good uses!)

When we “want” money, it’s NOT about the money! What we REALLY want is (and here’s where I lose most) …

Love.

And …

If we don’t think we’re deserving … we won’t allow ourselves to get it … the money or the love!

I have watched some come to me truly believing they are open-minded and highly desirous of my assistance but when asked the difficult questions, I find they are not.

Why then, are they in front of me, asking for advice? Because they truly believe they want a “cure” … but frequently it is the kind of cure we get when we go to the doctor who tells us we must stop smoking and lose weight, and we do not. The kind of cure we get when we go to the tennis coach who tells us to practice the new move shown us, and we do not. The kind of cure we get when the therapist we should go to, we don’t, saying it’s because of the expense.

Frequently what is wanted is (in a metaphoric sense) the world to change so we can continue doing what we’re doing.

I found that many people believe themselves deserving but when asked the tough questions, don’t believe that at all.

A sample of some of my “tough” questions? …

1.      Agree___ Disagree___   “At any given moment, we are doing EXACTLY what we want, in spite of what we say!”
2.      Agree___ Disagree___   “The reason we don’t get what we want from life is because we only go after what we think is possible!”
3.      Agree___ Disagree___   “We get from life just what we think we deserve!”
4.      Agree___ Disagree___   “We are never upset for the reason we think!”
5.      Agree___ Disagree___   “Our life is the perfect example of our unconscious desire to be unfairly treated!”
6.      Agree___ Disagree___   “We are in charge of our life and everything that seems to happen to us (good and bad) is because we’ve asked for it and it has been given us, as we have asked!”
7.      Agree___ Disagree___   “We must take full responsibility for any hurt we experience at the hand of another. Are we awake enough right now, to see we create our own pain?”

I look for prospective clients who are willing to be slightly malleable and pragmatic and who don’t externalize the responsibility for their life or their feelings, to someone else. (They may have never thought that way but they are open to new concepts of responsibility and changing their thinking.)

Ultimately, I want to know if they can take the responsibility that they did this to themselves; that they “want” to be poor, have financial problems, relationship problems, health problems, etc. Then, it becomes easier to teach them “how to want ” to be healthy and to make healthy choices.*

With that said, you’ve received two excellent book recommendations above. They are the same two I might give new clients. (Depending on their degree of openness or willingness to explore these concepts.)

Robert Kiyosaki’s “Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money–That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!” which will teach you a LOT about the proper use of money!

And …

Marianne Williamson’s “A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of ‘A Course in Miracles’ ” which will teach you a LOT about YOU! (Get the tape or cd set of the book because it REALLY distills the salient points down to spoon size and VERY powerful points!) You’ll find yourself listening to it repeatedly and the car is perfect dead time to do that. You’ll be crying (with understanding) by side two.

Listen to the tape of “A Return to Love” FIRST because … well, you’ll see why!

I hope there’s something of value here for you.

(end of notes)

* I don’t want to gloss over the difficulty of changing a lifetime of thinking, a lifetime of inherited imprinting. We have self-imposed limitations and self-destructive tendencies that we don’t understand or even recognize. To make those biases conscious and take responsibility for them, is no small task and creates great personal discomfort. Occasionally people get angry with me for bringing them up.
 
Though the process of learning and accepting these concepts may be uncomfortable, that discomfort exists for a short time. It is no comparison to the lifetime of discomfort one experiences by externalizing the responsibility, blaming others, for our feelings and our relationships with money, people, family, lovers, our health, and our lives.
 
Additionally, just because I teach this to clients doesn’t mean I’m above these limitations myself, just more in touch with them than most, maybe.

It’s why I teach it, for who has more to learn than the teacher?
 
I hope there’s something of value here for you!
 
Is there?
 
God bless,

Nunzio
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