everything changes

I think its strange how soon I won’t be driving these streets to work, and I wonder how my co-workers will manage with out me..

who will pipe up and make jokes at odd moments, who will drag them down to get coffee every morning..?

I know I will only be out three weeks but I think I will miss them.

On the other hand I am looking forward to some time off even if its drug induced time off.

I won’t always love what I’ll never have
I won’t always live in my regrets

I’m very hermity lately, I don’t return calls, it’s like a miracle to get me on the phone the past few months. I’m just annoyed with most people, I suppose when things are so big like this I just want to fold into myself and hide.

I know they mean well, I know, I know..and I have to keep telling myself to bite my tonuge don’t be snappy, don’t hide…don’t don’t don’t

I just don’t want anyone thinking this is a huge deal..I mean it’s a big deal they are ripping an organ from me. I don’t know why I am isolating myself so much.

Maybe it’s post holiday blues.

All the blanks I’ve drawn,
All the times I’ve shared,
All the times that I’ve been unprepared.
All the songs I’ve sang that I just can’t explain.

So wish me luck I don’t know if I will write again till after the surgery.

*Angel*
Forever more and lived forever in a day