lostandfound

3 days 14 hours 45 minutes 0 seconds

I’m breathless and speechless.

Phone convo between NYboy and me:

NYboy: What are you going to do when you go back

Me: I dunno..I don’t really have a plan..what will you do when i go back?

NYboy: I’ll call you like crazy, miss you, and be more in love with you.

Me: I love that you are so sure about me..about us.

NYboy: you think you’ll be with him in six months?

Me: six months is a long time, what will you being doing in six months?

NYboy: Well that depends on what you want

Me: what I want?

NYboy: if you want me there, just tell me..I’ll come.

Me: (weak knees, sweaty palms) Of course I want you here

NYboy: three days are your nervous?

Me: Yes, I’m scared of kissing you

NYboy: thats so cute..you’ve kissed me thousands of times..

Me: I know, but its been five years..its new again.

As the days wind down we are starting to have three hour long phone convos..rehashing the past, breaking down the future. I already don’t want to come home and I haven’t gone yet. Some things once you start them you can’t stop them, I wonder what I’ve gotten myself into my life is such a mess and his is even messer..I wonder if this is logical..

five years I’ve bounced around with so many different boys and I have always felt like I was waiting for something..what if this is what I’ve been waiting for..?

I’m so scared.

I’m so excited.

I’m more scared.

I’m just unsure.

then he whispers I love you my angel and my phone dies.

and I’m so sure this is right.

But I’m still freaking scared

I know, I know, we are the lucky ones..

*Angel*