the crane wife 3

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry no one ever warned you that I’m crazy.

It’s a responsibility I tend to avoid.

I don’t have a justification, a reason, a sly finger to point.

I’m not okay, although I often trick myself into thinking I am.

I’m invisible, lonely, incredibly unsure of what I’m doing.

And you made me feel alive, if just for a moment.

and you feel alive all the time, so it doesn’t feel special to you.

But I don’t want to go back to feeling so black inside

and you aren’t the answer to my question, to my life, I know that.

I just don’t know what it is yet,

and you have such pretty eyes

so easy to fixate on.