01/26/2013

I want you to to know, that I’m sitting here at a half open window.

Looking out on our quiet little neighborhood about to be swallowed by fog, just as the sun descends away from this contemplative day.

 Meditative music on my itunes, ambient and quiet, I’m thinking about you.

Thinking about the warmth of your skin, and the way you use coconut shampoo, and how you always taste of weed when I kiss you.

I felt the compatibility of our souls in a way that scared me.

And then I felt you retract the moment it became real.

A dark and damaged creature, insecure and lost, I’m doomed to fuck up again, in a vicious cycle.

I’m melodramatic and a coward, giving more love than I know I can receive.

And I’ve lost you, before I even had you.

I wanted to love you so badly, because I felt my huge gaping holes so painfully in this tiny town.

I know you never meant to hurt me

just experiencing life as it goes on

I don’t have anything particular to say

I appreciate your soul, beautiful vibrant colors

and I’m sorry for being a silly little girl about this

please don’t ever say anything you don’t mean.