Touched

Watch.

Listen.

I Will Explain.

Okay, yeah, I know. This seems to be a pattern with me that when something major happens in my life, I tend to phase out of the picture for a while and go off on my own. Well, at least it didn’t take me two years to come back this time.

As for the YouTube Video that I put up, I have a perfectly logical explanation concerning that. And I will get to it shortly.

I made it home this past weekend, as requested by my wife to me and by me to my dispatcher, to attend the Graduation of this beautiful girl, now woman, that is also my daughter –

I cannot be more proud of her. Even though there are plenty of times I wanted to drop kick her ass into next week, I still love her as I would my own daughter. She is the daughter I never had.

And that goes with the song and video above. Meg has stood naked (not literally) in the world without much to her name and has been supported by the love and thoughtfulness of friends and family. She has so much to be proud of – a rambunctious son, a beautiful daughter, a loving family, a degree that she earned. She has really worked hard towards that degree and has earned it with flying colors. Congratulations!

Of course, that’s not all that’s gone on this past week.

Meg isn’t the only one that YouTube Video applies to. That video and song hits me square between the eyes also just due to the fact that I too stand naked in front of the world…albeit on OpenDiary…with the bad parts just barely covered.

I started this diary in the hopes that I could put my own life into perspective, which still hasn’t happened, but have found that the people that matter to me are the ones reaching out and touching me to offer me comfort. Julianne, Lisa, Gina, my mother, Pam, Rich, Susan and other people that have left me notes and I don’t know their actual names have reached out to touch and steady me for the continuation of life as I know it. Each and every of you has had an affect of keeping me sane to some degree or another and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Julianne and I had a very nice conversation the other morning because, as a good friend, she worries when people go underground for some reason or another and, because I had, she e-mailed me. I called her and told her that, at that time, I didn’t have much to say. It was the truth, to an extent. I always have something to say…ask my wife. I just didn’t have much to say and put it into words into Microsoft Word. And now, looking back on this entry, I think I probably should’ve made some effort before now though.

Part of our conversation involved my verbal musing that I might be schizophrenic. I mean, after all, I carry on conversations with people that I can’t talk to. Oh, you want an example do you? Ok then.

Not long after I got back on the road, I was driving late one night and proceeded to have a “fantasy” that I, at my current age, had traveled back in time to summer 1974 in San Jose, CA and gone looking for my mother. We proceeded to have a long conversation in which I tried to convince her that she needed to invest in certain companies, find certain people and obtain certain things. Mind you, I was driving down the road having a conversation with my 28 year old mother! If that’s not mental in some way or another…

And now, on to other, more normal, things…

In the last 24 hours, I have made a decision that pains me but that I have found that I have no choice in the matter.

On my birthday, in 2001, I began what was to become my career – truck driving. I have enjoyed it immensely. I have learned quite a bit from friends that I have made on the road and have gone from being a company driver to owning and operating my own truck.

Unfortunately, fuel prices being what they are and the fact that line haul rates are dropping faster than fuel in rising, I can’t maintain this anymore. So, on my birthday, 2008, I am turning in my truck to Perkins, cleaned out and prepared for the next driver, because escalating fuel costs are forcing me to do so.

I will miss it. But I am hoping to find a job close to Oxford and I will be spending my time from now until then looking for the right job.

Till Next Time,
Blessings!

Kyle
Riverwolf
The Trucking Geek