A Look Back To the Beginning

I posted an entry on 1/26/2001. It is a very short version of the beginning of my ‘issues’. If anyone is interested enough, go there and read that entry. If not, don’t bother reading any further because it won’t make sense.

Right around age five I began having asthma attacks. Missed most of my kindergarten year due to difficulty breathing. No one else in the family had asthma. The doctors couldn’t understand why I got it. I was very healthy up to that time.

I see now that it was probably caused by the stress of what happened and my not understanding why it happened. It was my body’s way of handling (or not) the shock of it. The mind didn’t understand but the body did.

I have so many memories of being restricted from doing anything ‘fun’ because of my illness. No running, no sledding, no swimming. I became an avid reader and learned embroidery and knitting. All passive activities.

One time I revolted when I couldn’t go swimming with the rest of the family. I was told to sit under a tree and embroider. My parents were talking to a friend. I walked up and stick the embroidery needle (a BIG one) into his arm just to see what would happen. All I remember is how far it went in before he noticed. I was around six.

And so it starts.

oversixty

July 16, 2011

Went and read that entry, by any chance did you hear on the news about that lady in California that cut off her hubby’s penis and then ground it up in the garbage disposal? Now that’s what needs to be done to these perverts that hurt defenseless children. It affects their lives forever. Sure it can be pushed way to the back of the mind, but it’s never forgotten 🙁

Udder

Everything is connected. An understanding of the importance of initial sexual experiences should be a part of every culture, but it remains an unspoken mystery throughout the world.

the_mysticalmuse

It is so great to meet you and thank you for visiting my diary! We all have baggage, some just received heavier loads, which makes us stronger in a way, but effects our joys in life. I also had to adjust the way I handle memories, it is the only way to survive and find true happiness in whom we are.

NotKieran

July 17, 2011

I know exaclty how that felt– I’m still, technically, asthmatic.

SmokyMountainLawyer

Thanks for the visit, and I will use it as a bookmark to go back and read your OD for i am intersted in knowing and trying to understand. I liked your boat quote from Graham–I was telling a friend yesterday that I wonder if boats are really worth it, thinking of all the time I’ve spent working on boats–but I’ve had also some awesome moments in and about boats. The Desiderata is one of my favorite inpirational quotes, have it framed in glass 4 feet X 6 feet handing in my office.

zhnee

July 18, 2011

Being relatively healthy most of my life (not boasting, just stating fact), I really sympathize. There is so much that others can’t do that I take for granted…I need to work on my appreciation of the little things. I read your early entry…stuck him with the needle, huh? :o)

Just Jill

July 31, 2011

This is a good reminder to me that even though I can’t perceive the reason for someone’s actions, it doesn’t mean there isn’t one; it just means I don’t know the whole story. I can only imagine how “WTF?” your parents were, having no idea what was behind your ‘mischief.’ :/ Then again, for some actions, no matter the reason, there’s just no excuse.