up and down

Don’t worry, the title doesn’t refer to anything naughty; it refers to how I feel at the moment. Sometimes I feel really happy and others really depressed; it’s all up and down, and I’m not sure why.

Not much of excitement has happened since we got back from Dublin. Chris came to visit and it was nice to see him, but it brought up a lot of old issues for me about whether or not he really likes me. Tom thinks I’m just oversensitive; I don’t know, maybe I am.

Tom’s been really lovely recently. We got on so well while we were in Ireland and it seems to be lasting now that we’re back. He was working a split shift on Valentine’s day so I hardly got to see him; I went up for an hour or so during his break. I went round to my corner shop to get him a stupid card just so I could say I’d got him something, because we don’t usually do Valentine’s day. I couldn’t find a card (all sold out I think) so I bought him some sweets instead. So I went up to his house and said ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ and gave him a packet of Tootie Frooties, and he said it back and produced a lovely bunch of flowers and a packet of branston pickle flavour mini cheddars (my favourites). It was such a nice surprise, especially as I didn’t even know if I was going to be able to see him on the day.

He also got me another nice present. I got an email from amazon with some recommendations for Doctor Who toys, and one of them was an Ood, who I think are really cool, so I sent the link to Tom in an email, saying ‘buy me this please’. It was just a joke and I didn’t think any more of it, but a few days later Tom turned up at mine with a 12" tall Ood action figure. Bless him, he’s such a sweetie. So we’re really happy at the moment, apart from the fact that Tom’s having to work far too much. He worked a split shift on Friday, and yesterday, and he’s doing another one today. I’ve hardly seen him this weekend, which has been rubbish.

I’ve been feeling a bit down about work as well. There have been a few days when I haven’t even wanted to go in, but I’m trying to get over it because the majority of the time it is fine and I do enjoy it. Plus I’m lucky to have a job at all at the moment.

I’m on a diet at the moment because I’m getting way too fat. I weigh about a stone more than my ideal weight, but if I could lose about half a stone I’d be pretty happy. I weigh over 8 stone at the moment and I can’t remember the last time I was that heavy, so I’m not happy. So I’ve been dieting for about a week now and I don’t seem to be losing any weight, which is rather depressing. The scale’s been showing 8 stone 2 all week, but this morning it was down to 8 stone 1, so I may have lost a pound. If it’s back to 8 stone 2 tomorrow I will not be happy. I need to be less than 8 stone; that would make me so much happier at the moment. I hate being out of shape, ugh.

I’m trying to think of other things to say, but I think I may have run out. Sorry this has been such a disjointed entry.

xxx