sad

I’m feeling a bit down at the moment and I’m not really sure why. I think it might be because I’m not really sure where I’m going with my life. I enjoy my job, but I don’t want to do it forever, and I also don’t want it to be all I do. I feel so often that I get home from work and can’t be bothered to do anything because I’m tired from work. And when the weekend comes I have to do all the things I don’t have time for in the week, like laundry and shopping, and I don’t have time for doing much that I enjoy. The worst thing is that even when I do have time to do things I enjoy, I just can’t be bothered. I feel really fed up and just not in the mood to do anything, and then I feel worse because I’m not doing anything – it’s so ridiculous and frustrating! I can’t even be bothered to sew, which is quite serious for me.I hardly get to see Tom because he works different hours to me, and when we do see each other we just sit in front of the TV together. I don’t have any friends I can see. It sucks. And now my course has finished as well, I just have nothing to do. And I feel like I have nothing to look forward to. I want to do my counselling certificate, but don’t know if I’ll be able to. I don’t want to stay in this job forever, but don’t know what else I could do. I don’t want to be living with my parents forever, but don’t know whether me and Tom can really afford to move in together, or where we’d live, or anything. I’ve been trying to arrange for me and Tom to go away for the weekend for our anniversary in February, but he doesn’t seem to want to talk about it or sort anything out. I just want something I can look forward to and focus on.

UGH! I just feel crappy at the moment. Sorry about this entry, I just needed to moan.

xxx