48.

48 – Finish my limericks.

A while ago I stumbled across a notebook in which I had started to write some limericks, one for each of my friends. I hadn’t got very far, but it struck me as a good idea so I thought I’d have another go. I did, but once again got stuck, which was particularly annoying as it was always the last and most important line that I struggled with. However, I have now finished them. There are 9 of them – one for each of my closest friends. Some of them aren’t very good and many make little to no sense, but they are hopefully all funny. They will mean pretty much nothing to the people who may read them on here, but they may bring you some amusement, and I feel they should be here as a record that I finally finished them.

There once was a young man named Kyle,
Who found our crude humour a trial.
While we spoke of sex,
He’d look unimpressed,
But often would secretly smile.
 
 
There was a young lady called Fee,
Whose bra was a size double D.
She’d often get it out,
And when drunk she would shout,
‘It’s from M and S, come and see!’
 
 
There was a man called Mr Knowles,
Who had a soft spot for animals in holes.
He liked weasels the best,
(As you may well have guessed),
But he secretly also liked moles.
 
 
There once was a gentleman named Rob,
Who some people thought was a snob.
He enjoyed a fine wine,
And the correct way to dine,
But he still laughed at words such as ‘nob’.
 
 
There was a man named Mr West,
Who had one simple request:
A nice cup of tea,
And pleasant company,
And spending days playing K’nex.
 
 
 
There once was a young man called Guy.
Bless him, he really did try,
But people called him slow,
Wherever he’d go,
And he never could understand why.
 
 
There was a young man known as Ben,
Who, when drunk, couldn’t count much past ten.
He banged on the table,
And, while he was still able,
Insisted we played Twister again.
 
 
There was a young man named Chris,
Whose charm was difficult to miss.
He’d say something obscene,
Winking ‘Know what I mean?’,
But it didn’t often end with a kiss.
 
 
There was a young man known as Hendy,
Whose willy was surprisingly bendy.
He’d say ‘Don’t worry, it’s still strong,
And remarkably long’,
And a bent wang soon became trendy.