i may as well try and catch the wind…

i have to write this entry because tom is making me. even tho i wrote 2 yesterday. but he says he’ll leave me a note if i do. and i never get any notes so that would be nice. there is the slight problem that i dont really have anything to say. but dont worry, i wont let that stop me. dont normally

i am currently waiting for my laundry to finish washing so i can go and put it in the drier. once i take it out of the drier i can go to ‘brunch’ but i think im gonna make everyone late cuz it wont be ready til about 20 past 12. oh well. i havent been feeling very well recently, had a real nasty cold, but ive only had it a few days n its pretty much gone now so i cant complain too much, i feel a bit sicky now tho n ive still got a sore throat but im pretty much better so yay

tom and i are going out for a meal tonight. hopefully. i cant help thinking it might not actually work out that way lol. it’ll be nice to spend some time with him. dnt get me wrong, its not like we never see each other, it just feels like we dont get that much time alone. and when we are alone we stay in. and have sex. which is fun. i jus wish sometimes we actually did things together. like go on dates. we never really dated, when we started going out it was as simple as ‘will u go out with me?’ and then u were boyfriend and girlfriend. so we’ve never really done the dating thing, which is a bit of a shame if u ask me, i mean its nice just spending time with tom and it isnt like i need to be somewhere else doing something different to enjoy my time with him, but it is nice to make an effort sometimes y’kno? also, im getting a bit fed up spending all my time with all his friends lol they’re lovely but there are only so many times i can handle sitting and watching them play mariokart, i am basically going insane. anyway, basically, im looking forward to the meal tonight.

im really enjoying uni atm, degree-wise. its like i have remembered how much i enjoy psychology. one module in particular i am loving. its called applied psychology and the lecturer is amazing, u can tell he loves what he’s doing, and i honestly find him really inspiring. he makes everything really interesting. he just stands there and talks to us, no ohps or ne thing. and he actually talks to us rather than at us. he’s an excellent teacher and he’s making me really enjoy the course. i think that i do still want to do counselling psychology but he’s made me realise how many interesting things there are in psychology. there’s a lot that fascinates me. there’s a lot that’s bloody scary as well. there was a psychologist once who claimed that intelligence was genetically inherited and a lot of educational practice was based on what he said. he made up all of his data. and noone noticed for a long time. that’s scary. when iq tests were first invented, in america, loads of women were forceably sterilised because they had low iq and they didnt want them to have stupid children. that’s fucking scary. and i kno it’s not like that ne more, but it makes u wonder, if they thought that was acceptable then, maybe there will be things now that ppl will look bak on and wonder how we got away with it. i feel like ive just discovered all this stuff that im so passionate about, how amazing the mind is, how badly wrong it can go, its so sad, the things that can happen to ppl, imagine not being able to remember who ur family are, not being able to remember that u love them, imagine standing in front of a mirror and seeing someone who is fat and ugly, a ‘failure’ when u r making urself seriously ill because u weigh so little! its scary but i think its so fascinating.

i wish i knew for sure what i wanted to do. i kno i want to help ppl, i think counselling is how i want to do it. but we learnt about educational psychology the other day and thats fascinating too. did u kno it takes 8 years to train to be an ep? 8 years! and then u get paid so much less than a clinical psychologist. i cant wait to learn about everything else, especially counselling, which my amazing lecturer has decided to spend about 4 lectures on, when he’s spend 1 or less on all the rest.

this is a very rambly entry. i hope ur enjoying it tom, u’d better leave me a very gd note! i ought to be doing work really but i worked all day yesterday and im fed up with it  i have to go and find out how leicester advertises itself on the internet and write about it for my stupid sociology class with my stupid teacher who’s useless and annoying. pah! oh well, im not gonna stress, its for wednesday and i have tuesday off so its not a huge problem if i dnt do it today. thats a nice thought

im talking to fak online, he sent me a foto of the xmas ball at beaumont, its fantastic, mike’s looking at the camera, raj is smiling and matt doesnt look crazy! its a lovely foto. it was taken by someone i dnt kno at all so why im in it im not sure. i also have absolutely no recollection of it being taken which im a little concerned about as i wasnt drunk

right, i think i’ll go now, maybe even do some work before brunch, pah, fat chance

bye everyone xxx

 (lol)