There is no Logic.

 I wanted to write an entry about how crazy it is to want to have another baby. I wanted to tell a story about how my child, whom is barely two but well into her "terrible twos", screams like someone stepped on the tail of a banshee cat in heat, but only in the middle of a store. I wanted to tell a story about how the same child will cry until she vomits only to prolong her bed time by another hour while watching her very frustrated mother clean it up. I wanted to talk about all the cons, like lack of sleep, no free time, difficult family trips, impossible trips to the store, and the feeling of hopelessness when dealing with a screaming toddler who cannot express her feelings in no other way than the song of her people. I wanted to talk about how every plan you make is thrown out the window, especially if your toddler decides she must pick up every piece of gravel on the way to the car and how I will never get anywhere on time because she decides to go stiff as a board and it’s either break her back or spend 30 mins in 100 degree weather trying to coax her into her car seat and how through all of this I keep a small smile on my face for in my mind I am thinking, a woman would have to be crazy to want to do this again. I wanted to say that I have thought it out, talked it out, weighed all the pros and cons, and I have come to the conclusion that ………I WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY.

To try and explain the logic behind wanting another child would make me sound like a raving lunatic. In fact I have deduced that there is no logic behind wanting another child. I say the above but think to myself, that in spite of it all only one thing prevails. LOVE, Unconditional CRAZY love. There is no other way to explain it. It is a primal and basic feeling. A feeling straight from childhood. It’s like finding a good author and wanting to read every book they wrote. Finally getting your favorite Barbie and wanting all the accessories, Ken and all. It’s wanting to live in your favorite moments forever. I can’t deny how much I love being a mom and how I have somehow convinced myself that it will be easier with two, that my child needs a sibling and how even if I have to go through all of the above again, I am pretty sure I can do it, even if I pull out my hair. Hey I can always buy a wig. 

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