Some People I Will Never Understand

~WARNING: This entry is going to contain some venting about a situation that I have been dealing with for about two months now so just be warned that it may get a little ugly, but I really need to get this off my chest.

~So about two months ago my well then best friend and I stopped talking. WHY you may ask, well it was all because of the farmboy that I have mentioned in a previous entry.  She was the one that cut off communication and I did try to call her she didn’t answer until about a month after we had stopped talking, and needless to say I was the one putting in all the effort to make this friendship work… anyways… So she says that the reason she "let me go" was because she was afraid that I was going to get to close to a boy, could be farmboy or a different boy, and I’d forget all about her… Well now she has a different story.  She has now told me that she let me go cuz I wasn’t listening to her about the farmboy.  Was she right about the way he was going to act? Yes, but doesn’t that mean she should be there when I figured it out? But whatever… I’ve made my decision about farmboy and I’m still not sure if anything is going to happen between us or not, but I’m not going to get anymore attached nor am I waiting for him anymore, but this really isn’t why I’m writing…

~So back to the point, me and this girl talked on Friday and we got out a lot of stuff and I think the only reason she was talking to me was cuz I told her that I’m pretty sure that me and farmboy are over, which as stated before may or may not be true… So we had a nice converstation and a good time together…

~Well last night farmboy texted me when I was in class so I called hiim later last night and we were talking and I eventually told him that me and my friend were talking again (we are all mutual friends, how I met farmboy) and he was like really, cuz I told him that he was the reason why we stopped, and then he goes on to tell me that she a couple of months ago (so I’m guessing like right after we stopped talking) she texted him and was all flirty and told him that she could do things to him that no other girl could do and pretty much was asking him if she could get inside his pants.  Farmboy was like well I don’t think Megan would like that very much, and she responded "well its all about Megan no isn’t it"… so what this is saying to me is that SHE STOPPED TALKING TO ME CUZ I GOT SOMETHING THAT SHE COULDN’T… Now I may not be correct here, but this is how it sure looks to be.  Farmboy reminded me that my friend like to constantly be the center of attention and when I was getting some attention from him, my friend couldn’t resist taking it away from me and putting it on her… This makes a lot of sense.  The last thing we talked about before we stopped talking was that I stayed overnight by the farmboy. And my friend knows that I’m a virgin and have no intentions on changing that any time soon, so idk if her plan was to get to this boy first or what but this really just hurts. How can you do that to someone you consider to be a best friend?? Maybe she never considered me that? I really don’t know. I’m just all combinations of pissed off, upset, hurt, and sad all wrapped up into one.  I mean really?? She lives with her boyfriend, fucks another boy, and was chasing a completely different boy all summer… and now she wants to steal the one boy that I’m getting attention from? WOW… low if you ask me.  and she has a daughter with the boy she lives with…

~So now idk what to do.  Part of me just wants to go up to her and make her explain why she did what she did and if that was the real reason she stopped talking to me, or if I should just never talk to her again.  I haven’t decided yet, but wow, that’s all I can really say right now. I just can’t believe this.  And she never told me about this and idk why the farmboy waited till now to tell me this, but that i really don’t mind… He probably had his reasons. but does she never want to see me happy? Every guy that I have talked about with her, she has always found some flaw or another with them.  None of them are good enough for me or she just got a bad feeling when she met one of them, or something else, and now i’m wondering if she really just wants me to always be single so that she always knows that she is doing better than one of her friends in that department.  She has someone and i won’t… well if that is the case, oh boy she has another thing coming. I have always been there for her. No matter how dumb I thought her actions were, I always supported her cuz I what WANTED HER TO BE HAPPY!!! And I guess asking for her to be the same way is just a little bit too much…  So yeah idk what’s going to happen. I’ve had so much happen in the past couple of weeks that I’m just going with the flow of things…  what else can I do? Its really not worth all the hassle right now. I’ve got more important things to think about such as school. I’ve got a couple of huge projects this week to work on… oops maybe i should be working on them now… but honestly I just can’t focus on the cuz of this…

~But I do feel better that I got all that out… I’m going out downtown tonight with a bunch of people that I haven’t hung out with in 2 years! that’s a really long time if you ask me, so I’m pretty excited! Hopefully it will get my mind off all this crap and into a better place!