Why Are Dreams Never Real?

~So last night I had the most amazing thing happen… I was in the kitchen with my roommate (who I also have a crush on like major crush on) and we were talking.  Then all of the sudden he was looking into my eyes and telling me how beautiful they were being two different colors (they really are two different colors) and then he goes, Megan I really like you… And I smiled back and tell him that I like him too, then he smiles and then I WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it felt so real and so amazing and then I find out that it was a dream this whole time!! Gosh I was so sad when that happened! And I didn’t even wake up to my alarm, I just woke up! I don’t get it! Why can’t something that amazing ever happen in real life? I just don’t get it. Needless to say I was pretty bummed this morning when I actually had to get up.  Also when I saw him this morning the first thing I thought about was my dream and how it didn’t happen and yeah…..

~On a different note, finals are finally over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I survived 22 credits and 7 finals! Trust me it wasn’t easy! I wanted to quit all last week while studying for them.  So far I have 3 A’s and two of them were in really hard classes and there is just one more trouble class that could bring me down but i’m really hopeful that i mastered it and will pull out a 4.0 this semester! It would be my first 4.0 semester since high school! I’ve always had one class in college that screwed me over and I’ve worked really hard this semester so we will see if it all pays off! I hope that my teachers all post grades soon! I hate not knowing! 

~So i’m mostly moved home for the winter. I’m not really sure if i want to be here. My mom is already getting on my nerves and I’ve only been home for about 3 hours… its going to be a long 5 weeks! I might be going back sooner rather than later, at least i have the option, i know that a lot of people don’t and i probably won’t next year seeing as how college is slowing depleting my life savings! a student just can’t make it working and going to school…. it just doesn’t pay all the bills so sadly i will be forced to live at home soon i think. 

~Yesterday I was in a really weird mood.  I went to a movie with my sister and mom which was fine, we never really do anything just us girls and it was kinda nice, but when it was over i just got really angry. I have no idea why but i was. and i was angry at just about everything, i don’t even have one specific thing that set me off it just happened!! I wish I knew cuz then I could work towards fixing whatever it is! Lets just say i was happy none of my roommates were home when i got there, cuz i’m pretty sure it would not have ended well for them, i’m scary with i’m mad/pissed.

~Since school has officially ended, i’ve been working non stop! being the week before christmas its understandable! I really need the money to pay for next semester and everything but i really just want the chance to chill for a while! I’ve hardly had any time even for sleep and i just want a week where i don’t have to do anything and can just chill and do what ever i want to do and not have to worry about all the crabby customers or the dumb managers we have getting on my case about something that i did or didn’t do the way they wanted it to be done.  I now realize why i am going into management, i don’t want anyone but me telling me what to do! I work better that way!!! It just makes me pissed some days and other days i’m ok, it all just depends on what it happening. But I’m trying really hard to have a positive outlook on work these days! I realize that a lot of people don’t have jobs and i should consider myself lucky that I do have one and one where most of the people are nice and fun to work with! I mean without it I wouldn’t have met some of my close friends. So here goes to positive thinking.

~I also think that turing 21 was a bad idea even though there was no way to stop that. I’m really addicited to amaretto and coke… so yummy! 🙂

~Well that’s it for me… <3