Information Overload!

~I get the feeling that once you leave home you are never in the loop anymore!!

~So this morning I was informed of a few things…

1. My brother is moving tomorrow!!! I know so weird!

2. It is official that 5 guys will live in that house and one girl, with only 4 bedrooms.

3. All of these people are/were really close friends to Eric.

4. Eric’s second child is here.

5. Eric is in the state.

6. Eric wants to move near my brother! 

And i’m sure there are other things that I haven’t stated, but the last four are the most important!!!!!!!!!

~So I was fine not knowing that Eric has possibly been about 30 miles away from me for the last two months! I was totally ok with that. Its so much easier to deal with thinking that he’s halfway around the world, than knowing he’s so close that I might actually run into him somewhere! That really scares me! What happens if I actually see him and his wife isn’t there!?!?! I can’t deal with another blame game with her. Its just not what I want right now! I thought that I could deal with this but obivously I cannot! Which I shouldn’t be surprised… I just don’t know what the future will hold and I’m not sure I want to know! I just can’t deal with this!! Sometimes its just not what I want. Actually its always not what I want!! So as you can tell ever since I found out all this info its been on my mind. And the worst thing is that I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!!!! So not fair. I just wish that I could shut my mind off sometimes. But I can’t and now it really sucks! Cuz I really don’t have the time or the energy to think about him and worry that he’s so close. No matter how much I would love to see him again, I would never be able to deal with it. Once I see him, I know all these memories are going to come flashing back and I really can’t have that. I’ll be a mess, and I just don’t have time for that. I have more important things to worry about such as finals!!!!! Why oh why is this happening? i know that I shouldn’t be freaking out about this right now because nothing has happened and there is a chance that nothing will happen, but I like to be prepard though I don’t think that I can ever be fully prepared for what would happen. Actually I know that I’ll never be prepared!! So not cool! All I can do is pray that I’ll be able to handle myself in an appropriate way and not self destruct in his presence, but I can’t promise that! Wish me luck!