1/2/06

I find myself, starting to like Brandon again..I mean I don’t really know if it’s a friend type like, or a boyfriend type like. I mean..It’s weird. I smile, and laugh when I talk to him, on AIM, and we talk about old times, and it’s really fun. And, I sometimes look forword to when he get’s online, because I actually like talking to him. But..it’s weird. He started flirting with me, and I did it back, and I normaly have to kinda force it, but today it seemed to come natrally. It was so weird. I dunno..and then I thought about Jo, which made me feel really slutty, and like a peice of shit. Now I feel like I’m cheating on him or something. *sigh* Because without Jo, I’d still b depressed, and upeset, and whatever. And, I love Jo with all of my heart. And I’d do anything for him. Anything. I just don’t like this. I reallly don’t. I talk to guys all the time, but this feels different somehow. I never would want to hurt Jo..and I’m afriad I might be. *Shurg* It’s probley nothing. I’m probley just being stupid..I know I will never love Brandon again. I don’t trust him at all. I trust Tom more then I do Brandon. And, I trust Jo, with my life..*sigh* Ok, I’m just going to shut up now..I’m probley just makeing it worse for myself.