Friend

I have a really good friend. We haven’t known each other for that long. Just a little bit of this school year and like the last 3 weeks of 9th grade. But we’ve become good friends, and I can tell that somwere in her life. Somthing went horribley wrong. I know from the way she acts she was abused in some way. I think it might of been her real father. But I’m not all that sure. She and I talked about it .. And, here’s some of it..

Me: What did your dad do? I mean, if you don’t want to share that’s fine I understand.
Her: my father…well, ummm. and i suppose that if i don’t tell you, you’ll go on at length about how i always get so withdrawn when someone asks me about myself. right?
Me: No, I just asked. I understand if you don’t want to talk about it. I’m not going to beat you up because of it. I just want to know why you are the way you are sometimes. And besides, it’s just a question that someday your going to have to face anyway. And I wouldn’t ever think of you any differently. Your still the same Ass-kicking-black wearing- Foamy loveing freak-Of a Friend, no matter what you say.
Her: awww, thanks, it’s nice to know someone loves me…and i know that i’ll have to face it someday anyway, not that the damn therapist helped with that. i guess i just get scared of it again sometimes. and i know that i shouldn’t, that it won’t happen again and such…but i can’t help it. guess it’s pretty obvious that i was abused, huh?
Me: Well, yes it is kinda odvious..I mean probley not to You-Know-Who..But to me it’s apparent that sometime in your long life..ahem. That something bad happened to you that you haven’t come to terms with yet. I know what your going though. Might not be the same type of situation, but I have plenty of stuff that I have done or whatever, that I haven’t come to terms with yet..and that I hate myself for. You shouldn’t be scared. We all love you! And hey! Anyone comes near you, I have a 5 foot pole in my closet! *evil grin*
Her: heh. well, thanks. i’m not sure that i’ll ever some to terms with it. maybe. and i hate myslef for the way that i act about it. that i can’t talk, that i can’t even write about it, except once. i just wish that it’d all go away. or that i wouldn’t feel anymore. i don’t know, sometimes it just seems to be all over for me, and there’s nothing left. i dunno, i dunno. but there’s no need to talk of this anymore.

*Sigh* I wish she would just TELL ME. It’s driveing me OUT of my mind. She hasn’t told anyone that much I can tell, and that it hurts her alot. And that she’s scared of it. I can’t belive I got this much out of her. I mean..half the time I was just guessing..I was actally right. It is kinda..odvious. She doesn’t like being touched at all. Not like..brushing up on her my accidnet kind. But if you hug or put your hand anywere near her, she shudders and kinda moves out of the way or yells at you. And The "You-know who" Mentioned in teh conversation, by me I think is Allisen. She pokes us and anoys the HELL out of us. Well, yeah so I dunno,  don’t want to force it out of her, but yeah..It’s kinda getting to me..I understand that she might feel uncomfy talking about it I understand that..but I want to be there for her..but whatever, when she wants to talk I’ll be there to listen. At least she told me this much. So I know what subjects not to talk about around her. And she also was a cutter too. I don’t understand that. I tryed reading about it and everything but I still don’t really get it..*sigh* So many things about that girl that I don’t understand that I wish I did..sometimes it would be alot eaiser to get some of the stuff she says..