Healing My Heart

My Dearest Duke,
A month ago today, I was trying to deal with the fact that I had to let you go. Spent that Saturday just laying with you, stroking your fur, telling you it was alright, that I was there for you when you started coughing. If I could have stopped time that day, I would have. There was never a good time to let you go. My heart still misses you so very much. I’m crying again because of your absence. I know you must have led me to Dasher. He really needs me right now. He’s going to help my heart heal and I hope he heals from his illness, as well. He was so very sad when I first saw him. He’s like a different dog now since he’s away from the kennels.Even if he doesn’t make it through the treatments, he will know what it was like to be cherished. Know that I will always hold a place in my heart just for you. You were my heart dog, my furry soulmate. Part of me will always long to be with you and see you again. I know you don’t want me to feel guilty about feeling some happiness. Just remember that you will always be loved and remembered by me. You took part of me with you when you left. Keep it safe until we meet again, sweet doggie. Mama misses you so much.

Meet Dasher. I’m not kidding. That’s his name. Isn’t that appropriate? For some reason, the owner of him and anothter 8 year old black lab, turned them in to the SPCA saying he didn’t have enough time for them. Well geez, what happened within the eight years?? I was originally looking at a fluffy chocolate lab but on my second visit, decided to visit with Dasher. The main reason was he looked as sad and empty as I’ve been feeling. He really touched my heart. We took him to a little play area where he had a good potty, followed by a great scratchout. I’ll have to get a video of it because he does them really wild. I could already tell a change in the behavior with just the little time I was there. So, we were filling out the paperwork and the heartworm test hadn’t been done on them because when they were first brought in, they were too scared and the employees thought there was a danger of getting bit. I told them I would like to have his test done before I made the adoption. They did the test and I waited. The test came back positive for heartworms. My heart sank. This was Thursday and I honestly didn’t know what to do. I told them I didn’t know what I’d do if he didn’t make it through the treatment. There is a local vet that does all the treatment for free. Well, I thought about him for a day and how sweet he is and decided to give him a chance. I think life is too short and none of us know how long we’ll be here. I want him to know what being a cherished dog for whatever amount of time he’s allowed on this earth.

I’m taking such a chance on him but he’s so worth it. This coal black dog is a diamond. Just the sweetest one you’d ever want. I also discovered a fatty lump in the flap of his right ear. Pray he gets through all he’s got going against him. Even if he doesn’t make it, I wanted him to know a good, loving home. I’m hoping we’ll have years of happiness. Something just told me to go for it.

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December 10, 2006

what a sweet face dasher has!! he’s a very handsome dog. i’m sure he appreciates all the love and good care you are giving him. it’s great that you are able to open your heart again to a dog that needs you and your care and love. take care,

*hugs* Congrats on the adoption! Dasher looks adorable! I adopted a heartworm-positive dog too! It took 8 months of bedrest but Belle’s now very healthy.

December 11, 2006

OH, I so think you did the right thing & that Duke is very proud of you! That’s the part in you that made you such a good mommy to Duke! I agree with you about Dasher:at least he will know what it felt like to be cherished. I will hate to lose any of my dogs, but I try to think that there will be another dog out there that I can give love to…& have that feeling of being cherished. Right now my lab (Buddy) is dreaming–barking in his sleep. So cute & funny. I will miss ole Buddy when he’s gone. I always tear up or down right cry when you talk of missing Duke. For some reason, you two just really touch my heart. I truly believe our good God will let us join up with these precious gifts he’s provided us.