halfhearted goodbyes

I always knew this day would come…

From the moment you walked into my life,

I knew you’d be gone before I was ready to let you go. 

You held me high for a while, both of us soaring on wings of amazing dreams.

We were anything but typical, and you were everything I needed.

 

The day you walked away I thought I would die… or maybe I just wished it.

But soon you came back to me… And we had an amazing night just catching up.

I’ll never forget the night I drove to see you, when you apologized, and told me how bad you knew you’d fucked up.

I’ll cherish that forever.

And so it was, us as friends… and I was happy.

 

But now it’s all fake smiles and charades… you have tunnel vision for a future that doesn’t exist.

And so it’s time to wave goodbye. 

It has been for some time now…

I couldn’t let you go because I was afraid of letting you forget me…

And I’m fairly sure you will.

 

 

None of this is worth it anymore… 

I tried so hard, for all of you… 

Because all I ever wanted was for you to succeed.

But I deserve more than this.

 

J – You, of all, always greeted me with a smile and how are you. we never really got to talk, and I hate that, but I always admired you.

D- I can tell you hold what happened against me, and I’m sorry for that. I never thought it would happen anymore than you did, and I tried my best to not let things change… but you didn’t. I used to believe you were the greatest of them all, but now I see you’re worse than the rest.

M- You’re an amazing person. You have a great girl and you treat her so well… I respect you so much for that. I hope I’ll still see you from time to time.

C- I hope you know what you walked into… and I hope for your sake it all works out. We’ve gotten along since the second I met you, more than I can say for any of the other guys. I had a blast with you at that first party, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

J-  You were the one that started it all. I’ll miss you, but you already know that. I hope, someday, I’ll see you again… and we can smile about what we had, instead of pretending it was just a dream.