live through this & you won’t look back

 Tomorrow is the day…

When I’ll finally say goodbye for real.

And for always,

Like it should have been so many times before.

To begin to forget the face that’s plagued me for months now,

In nightmares,

In fantasies,

In life.
 

I somehow thought I could keep this up.

This facade that it doesn’t fucking kill me to see your face…

Especially when it lights up as it meets mine….

Then you move toward her.

I take full blame for this…. agony.

I brought it on myself, for fear of the emptiness of knowing you were just…. gone….

Like the true ghost you’ve always felt like to me.

Close enough to touch.

Disappear.
 

But the time has come… 

To be truthful, it came a long time ago.

And I was too blinded by despair to see it.

I’ll never move on until I finally let you go.

Forever. Permanent. 
 

There will be no taking this back,

No second chances to fix it.

You fucked up.

And someday, you’ll know.